The original intention of PUA refers to love rat's method of controlling women's mind. Gradually, due to the numerous phenomena of PUA around him, the "excessive" suppression and love of parents for their children in the workplace, especially in the family PUA, has become a hot topic on the Internet.
When we were young, we always heard parents nagging: "You see whose children are always ranked first in exams, whose children never make parents angry, and whose children have been admitted to key high schools ..." It seems that in the eyes of parents, no matter how hard their children work, they always turn a blind eye and always keep suppressing and denying their children.
Some people say that it is understandable for parents to have this idea. They just hope that their children can be better. By comparing other people's children, they urge their children to make continuous progress!
However, parents' educational methods make children prone to inferiority complex, unbridled attacks and even insults in the long run, making them feel useless.
Home is a shelter from the wind, but it is also an emotional garbage dump! As long as children don't work hard and their grades decline, it will lead to family wars.
"If you don't work hard at such a young age, you will know that you are fun, and you will have no diploma and no food in the future." "Who am I doing this and earning money so hard for ..." Chinese parents keep repeating the same mistakes to impress their children with the truth that "the young don't work hard, the oldest is sad", but they ignore all the emotions of their children, and make the originally cheerful children look "humble and fragile" by themselves, losing their old smiles and laughter.
In the long-term education mode of "other people's children", parents gradually forget all the good things in their own children, so many people regard this "comparative critical education" of parents as family PUA.
If a child does something that makes him dissatisfied, Chinese parents say "I do it for your own good". In the routine of PUA, parents often control their children in the name of "love".
For example, the TV series "Little Parting" is a child with average grades, but her mother has a strong competitive spirit and a desire for control. As long as her grades decline, she will be anxious and heartless, and she is eager for her children to be far ahead in academic performance.
Therefore, in the study of blossoming, her mother is a "high-pressure policy". When she comes home from school, she has to do test papers, get up early and recite words. Even blossoming who failed in the exam is afraid to go home.
This kind of unilateral "high-pressure discipline" seems to be parents' good for their children, but in fact, this kind of behavior has been given another meaning "non-love behavior", which is a manifestation of family PUA, and children know in their hearts that parents are doing it for their own good.
However, I can't talk about my inner dissatisfaction. In the long run, I will become a child who has no opinion and is used to parents arranging everything for me in advance.
In many families, we often hear parents say, "I work so hard to earn money. Do you know who I am for?" "I pay so much ..." This kind of bitter education means moral kidnapping. In the eyes of parents, their pay should be in direct proportion to what they want.
For example, in The Centimeter of Love, Guan Dad prefers boys to girls. He feels that he has worked hard to train his daughter. Now that her daughter has grown up, she should give something back to this family, and the most direct way to give back is to help her brother, buy a wedding ring and a wedding room ...
In this original ecological family, blood is thicker than water has become a derogatory term. The bitter education mode has also become a kind of expression of family PUA.
This shows why parents' education will become a family PUA. Parents should understand that children are a person, not their own accessories, and they can do whatever they want. We should understand that the best way of education is to be accompanied by long-lasting love.
Respecting children's choices and letting go of love is the best way for children to get happiness!