Although it is said that the strong twisted melon is not sweet, but sometimes I don't care whether it is sweet or not, I just want to twist it down, twist it down I am happy. Once my mom watching TV suddenly turned to me and asked me, what is the name of that yellow hair cake in pants, I thought for half a day, is it SpongeBob? A daily record, the following by me to bring you: joke diary .
Joke Diary 1
Every Saturday and Sunday, my mom will always help me buy pens.
One day, when I was hanging out after hobby class, I pestered my mom to buy a black Angry Birds Blue Ice pen. I often put it in the pen bag and love it. At school, I clip it to my language book; on vacation, I clip it to my notebook ......
On a recent Saturday, Yee said she wanted to buy a pen, and we nodded our heads. "Behold! That's a 'Little Giant', it writes well!" Xiaoyi pointed to a blue pen with a round head on it, the veritable "Little Giant". I pestered my mom to buy it for me again.
Monday back to school, the teacher took "miscellaneous" dictation. I picked up the "blue ice" began to write the title. Just write to half, the whole paper almost all "disfigured". After writing a lesson, my hands have long been sore, while the book is a large black. With the "Little Big Man" Xiaoyi, but perfectly written down a lesson, as if printed.
I threw Blue Ice aside and picked up Little Big Man to concentrate on the next lesson. As a result, the lesson written with "Blue Ice" was sentenced to death - a red dot circled on my body, which was ugly. The version written in "Little Big Man" is quite neat.
I went back to my seat and compared Blue Ice with Little Big Man, and I realized that the same beautiful pens have different powers, and you have to use them exactly the way you want them to be used to make the font look better.
The teacher told each of us to go back and buy a pen. Mom took me to the kiosk that day to see, a lot of pens to see me dazzled. Mom told me to go over and take a look. I saw some fountain pens that were white on the outside and had Mickey and Minnie designs on the inside. I bought one and another pen with a pink jacket and took it home to try it out.
I brought my doggy notebook and tore out a page. Both pens do not come out of the water, could it be ...... a thought and impossible, then went to ask mom. Mom saw laughing so much that his stomach hurt, said to me, "sister, you take the pen wrong, can come out of the water is strange!" I was very strange and wrote again according to mom's gesture, but still no water came out. Mom and Dad looked at me helplessly, I suddenly realized, a slap on the head: "Oops! I forgot to suck the ink, how can it come out of the water!"
Ouch, a whole bunch of jokes!
Joke Diary 2
Last night, my father told me a small joke.
The main character of the story is called Xiaohui. One day, the teacher announced that the day after tomorrow to go on a spring trip, the class heard, jumped three feet high. The teacher announced that the day after tomorrow we would go on a spring trip, and the whole class jumped up and down when they heard it. When he got home, he said happily to his mom, "Mom, I'm going on a spring trip the day after tomorrow!" "Where's the notice?" Mom was washing the dishes. "Here!" Hui shouted as he held up the notice. "Wait," mom continued, "don't you have to do your homework, Hui?" "Yes!" Little Hui suddenly snapped, "Ah, I'll do it now!" Mom read the notice and asked curiously, "Little Hui, don't you have to pay?" "The teacher didn't say yea?" Little Hui stared at the notice in confusion.
The next day, Xiao Hui came to school early. "Oops," said the teacher, tapping his head, "Students, I forgot to say yesterday. You have to pay 70 yuan." "Got it, teacher." The students answered in unison. "Mom, it's really like you said, you have to pay!" Xiaohui shouted towards his mom outside the door. Mom smiled and said, "That's not true, where did the bus fare and tickets go, it's not a free trip!" "Hehehe ......" Xiao Hui scratched his head.
On the third day, Xiaohui returned home, a door to ask: "Mom and Dad, tomorrow to go to the spring tour of things ready?" "Oops, already ready!" Dad came out of the door. "Even also, to bring milk, bread, apples, snow pear ......" "Xiaohui ah, don't bring so many things to go, otherwise ...... " mom said. Xiaohui interrupted his mom, "Nnn, I know!" So Xiaohui went to do his homework. However, it was almost 11 o'clock and Xiaohui was still burying his head in the sand. "Little Hui, why are you so late this time, usually you're not like this! What if you don't wake up tomorrow?" Mom who was doing laundry said. "It's fine it's fine!" Little Hui was caused by doing his homework while thinking. Finally, Xiaohui went to sleep at 11:30 pm.
On the fourth day, it was a great day for a spring trip. Mom pulled Hui up early in the morning, "Today is a spring trip na, you still sleep!" "Okay I'll go--" said Xiaohui helplessly. Mom was relieved and went out to boil hot milk and bake bread. Until it was done, there was no sign of Xiao Hui coming out. "Teru! !!!It's 8:30am and you're still not up, you're not going to the spring trip today!" Mom got angry. Xiaohui had to slowly sit up, wash and wash his face and then slowly eat breakfast and lazily go to school.
Halfway to meet a very close classmate: "HI Xiaohui, hurry up and go, otherwise it will be late!" "It's not too late." The words just fell, that classmate's hurried footsteps accelerated, a moment on the invisible shadow. Xiao Hui dawdled for a long time before arriving at school. Fortunately, the car was still there, Xiaohui rushed into the car, but the driver chided him, "This student, please come to school earlier in the future, our whole school has to wait for you alone, are you not ashamed?" "Er ......" Xiaohui could not speak.
Arrived at the agricultural park. They looked in one direction, wow! It's so big! It turned out to be a tomato bigger than a basketball! The teacher asked the staff strangely, "May I ask what kind of tomato this is, it's so big." "This is the tomato squash we developed, we are just trying out the reproduction of tomatoes, we won't put it on the market for sale." "I still want to eat it." The teacher said wryly. They looked in the other direction, well! It's so long! It turned out to be a beanstalk longer than a python! The teacher asked the staff again, "May I ask why this bean horn is so long?" "We just put in some developed quick-growing powder to see how long it will grow, and then put in less to divide it into segments to sell at the market." "Oh, I see."
The teacher still knows a little bit about agriculture, and explained it to the students in a moment.
The spring trip is over ......
This story tells us three truths: (1) you can't be careless and forget things; (2) don't stay in bed in the morning or you'll be late; and (3) if you don't understand, you have to ask.
Joke Diary 3
My sister, you should be very familiar with her, I wrote about her in my blog, although she is very violent, although she is my enemy, but after that incident, my attitude towards her changed, and she treated me better.
On Saturday afternoon, when my mom and dad were out, I had nothing to do and said to Xinxin, "Xinxin, my sister is dying." My sister was first shocked, and then asked me with squinted eyes, "Liar, right?" I was afraid of revealing a crack, and quickly pretended to be dying, breathlessly lying on the table, and said to Xinxin, "Xinxin, my sister is really dying, and in an hour, my sister will be si." Xinxin froze, looked at me dumbfounded, I narrowed my eyes and looked at her, for a moment, I watched Xinxin's eyes glistening with tears, softly sobbing, I asked her why she cried, Xinxin's words made me extremely shocked and extremely moved: "Sister, are you really dying, if you die, no one will fight with me, no one will talk back to me, I will be very sad. " After saying that, Xinxin fell on the bed and cried. My nose also sour, yes, if I really die, who will be like me and XinXin fight backtalk? I thought carefully, before, I also have to do the wrong place, when XinXin fell, I do not go to help her, but laugh, only to let XinXin hit me; when I have something good, I go not to give XinXin to stay a little, only to let the mother to say I; when XinXin sleep, I go to touch her, to wake her up, dad also have to put down their hands of work, coaxing her to continue to sleep. Alas, it's all my fault!
Looking at my sister who wailed and cried, I also cried, but I laughed again, Xinxin actually believed the joke, Xinxin asked me, "Sister, do you not want to die?" I nodded and said to Xinxin, "Xinxin, sister is, lying to you, sister can't die." Xinxin was shocked again and was ready to hit me, but in the end she didn't do it and asked me, "Sister, are you angry with me for pretending to die?" I nodded again and Xinxin added, "Then I won't make you angry from now on." I was stunned, is it true?
Sure enough, since then, Xinxin rarely hit me, and when she touched me unintentionally, she would politely say, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." Stepped on my feet, will also give me a rub, there are good things, will also be divided in half to me, sometimes even a big half. At certain times, it is inevitable that there will be some conflicts, but in a blink of an eye, it will be over, and they will go on playing happily. Looking at my sister, I am very happy.
Now, Xinxin will not make me angry, she is my sister, my good sister, she is no longer the violent "enemy", but a happy, gentle, well-behaved, lovely Zhang Bingxin!
Joke Diary 4
In the blink of an eye, it was the last class on Friday, and the teacher let us have free time.
When the students heard that Xu Chenkai was going to do a magic trick, they all came together to find out what magic Xu Chenkai was going to do!
Xu Chenkai's magic is about to begin, students are curious and excited!
Xu Chenkai said, "Take out your left hand and hold it up flat, palm facing down." Classmates followed him to do, now everyone did not find the cat, he continued to do the action while saying, "Raise the right hand raised, pressed on the back of the left hand, palms facing each other, ten fingers interlocked." Classmates are doing as they were told, he told us to turn our hands around, but many of them did not make it, Xu Chenkai did it successfully.
Hmph! You think I can't do it? I tried to turn it, haha! I also turned over! Do you want to know the trick?
Tell you what!
Tell you what! He was different from others in the palm of his hand, and the right hand was down, he was not paying attention to others, the palm of the right hand up, ten fingers interlocked, a turn will be turned around, understand?
Many students shook their heads and said they did not understand.
The students said, some said, "How did it change? Do it again!" Some said, "Come on, teach me to do this magic!" I did the same as before, and said it again.
This time the students nodded, the table in the understanding, the heart is so tired!
My fiery eyes are useful, so happy ah!
I think this magic trick is both successful and failed. Successful because several people did not guess, failed because I guessed it alone, so this magic trick is both successful and failed! It can be called a "joke".
We have to pay attention to everything we do, sloppiness will cause you to do nothing, you see, in this case, I watched carefully, I achieved the only victory, success.
Joke Diary 5
The beginning of the school year added a lot of worries, but also added a lot of interesting things. One of the most memorable for me was the joke convention.
That day I was watching TV at home, feeling very bored, so I called my mom and dad and said, "Let's organize a joke conference how?" Mom and Dad said in unison, "Yes!"
I started with a joke: "I'm going to talk about Changeable Fractions. One day, Neil saw his test paper and exclaimed, 'Wow, 57 points!' When Lulu and Hamo saw it, they laughed and said, ''Look at the score you got, mom and dad are going to beat you to death.'' How much did you two get? ''I scored 34 points and Hamo scored 16 points.'' ''Ha, you're both lower than me after all this talk! ''No, no,'' Lulu said meaningfully, ''I can change my 3 to 8 and become 84 points;Hamo can change his 1 to 9 and become 90 points. And you, with 57 points, can't. ...... "Mom and Dad immediately laughed when they heard this.
Dad also told a: "I speak on the topic of 'write 'Wan' word'. Once upon a time there was a rich man who gave birth to a son. He was determined to train his son to be a scholar, so he got a teaching gentleman. The teacher first told his son how to write: 'My son, watch carefully, the character "一" is one horizontal stroke, and "二" is two horizontal strokes. ...... The son thought to himself: "It's so easy to write! The first thing you need to do is to write a few strokes across. In the evening, my son shouted happily to his father: 'Dad, I can write! I can write!'' Really? Dad wants you to write the word "Wan", how about it? My son agreed. So the son wrote for a month without eating or sleeping, and finally he wrote 10,000 characters. Exhausted and happy, he said, 'Dad, I have finally written the character "Wan"! ' Dad saw his son, speechless ...... "We can not help but laugh again.
Mom saw that our jokes were told very vividly, so she was not willing to show weakness, said one, named "the person surnamed Lao": "One day in class, Xiaoming suddenly asked the teacher a strange and bizarre question: 'Teacher, in China, is there anyone surnamed Lao ah? ''Well ......,'' the teacher said after thinking for a while, ''I don't think there is. ''Teacher, you're talking nonsense, there are two people who are! ''Tell me, which two? ''Lao Zi and Lao She! '" We laughed again.
Although the joke meeting ended with a lot of laughter, I felt very happy.
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