in the evening, we are discussing what kind of flower-like food to cook at noon the next day. When talking about one of them. Because my daughter was watching the video, I listened to her talk about the production process. I felt that I couldn't do it, so I wanted to watch the video. As a result, my daughter suddenly got a little emotional and said to me in a very unfriendly tone: You don't want to watch this video (I said this morning that the video at the beep station is not as convenient as the video at the kitchen, but I didn't say that I don't want to watch this video), so I don't want you to watch it! Then I went to the study table in the restaurant.

originally, I was going to say: I am your mother and you are my daughter. I didn't raise you so much to make you disrespect me. You should talk to your mother well. But it suddenly occurred to me that if I didn't say anything today and let her stay in her emotions for a while with the imbalance theory, how would my daughter react? Will she realize that she is wrong? So I got up and went back to my bedroom without saying a word.

In the bedroom, I started writing. No matter how this event develops, I want to record it truly, which is a deliberate exercise. This is the material for me to use psychology to deal with problems in life.

I just wrote a few words when my daughter came in and hugged me directly from behind and said, Mom, I'm sorry, I feel you are angry. I just complained that my tone of voice is not very good. Don't be angry.

me: good boy, mom feels that you don't respect me, and she is really angry. However, you can realize that your tone is not very good, which makes your mother uncomfortable, indicating that your perception has improved. You can take the initiative to apologize to your mother, which shows that you can accept your own shortcomings and dare to admit your mistakes. This is one of the signs that people are more mature (we can't hold on to children's pigtails, but look at their progress). Then can you tell mom how to express this kind of thing next time?

daughter: I shouldn't be so emotional. I should talk to you properly.

Me: Yes, Mom understands what you mean. Would you like to listen to Mom's further explanation?

the daughter nodded: hmm.

Me: Mom thinks you can have emotions at any time. The key point is how to express them reasonably when you have emotions.

daughter: don't talk to your mother with emotion.

I: Yes, when we have emotions, we should improve our emotional expression ability and learn to express our emotions in words, not in words. For example, when you were a little impatient just now, you should gently say to your mother, "Mom, I'm a little bored at the moment, and I don't want you to watch the video."

the daughter nodded her acceptance, and at this time, the daughter began to pull the mobile phone.

I said, good boy, when mom was talking to you, you were looking at your mobile phone. What do you think of this in your heart?

daughter: I shouldn't look at my mobile phone, I should concentrate on talking to my mother.

I stood up and ran away without saying hello. I thought, is this bothering me? But I didn't go out and ask, sometimes I should ignore it and don't take it seriously.

after more than ten minutes, I found that she had washed well and didn't look unhappy. I said, "Good boy, you just ran away without saying hello. Why?"

Daughter: I saw that the time on my mobile phone was a little late, so I ran to wash.

Me: It seems that your time management ability has improved. Next time, you can easily say "Mom, it's too late, I'm going to wash up" to your mother.

Then the girl told me: Mom, I belong to the kind of person whose emotions come and go quickly. If you tell me that I don't respect you at the first time today, I may be more annoyed, but you didn't say anything, but I feel embarrassed. Mom, can you do this in the future and don't correct me so quickly (children are different from children in personality, so we should teach students in accordance with their aptitude and use the methods we have learned flexibly).

me: ok! Mom is actually constantly adjusting, and wants us to communicate better and get along more comfortably. Regarding what you said, mom will certainly be able to do it. As for the problem that our emotions come and go quickly, we need to improve our ability of emotional management.

Through today's incident, I understand that when a child makes a mistake, our parents should not always rush to correct it, but should give the child time to reflect (the imbalance theory of the Dean is always unsatisfactory, and it is accurate for adolescent children). When we don't have scientific methods, every mistake a child makes is an opportunity for us to clean him up; When we have scientific methods, every mistake a child makes is an opportunity for us to improve him. Only parents who are scientific can promote their children's growth.