Regarding today’s article, I originally wanted to summarize all the psychology notes I had taken and then integrate the related content into a new chapter, but then I thought about it, why should I integrate it? Just follow the order of recording the notes.

If you write your own article, you may gain other unexpected benefits.

1. Self-realization has prophecies. Narcissism is a necessary stage for self-realization. Although it has imperfections, it is the soil necessary for us to achieve self-improvement.

A person wants to become stronger, but the people around him do not support or understand. In this difficult process, the narcissistic person must undergo transformation, and transformation requires breaking up the self and reassembling it, and the reassembled

The process is just like the process of taking off the armor of a knight in armor. It is a process of gradual awakening.

Only when a person is responsible for what he often says will he work hard for what he says. The prerequisite for effort is a person's deep recognition of himself.

Thinking of this, I have some insights. Some people are arrogant because they have the strength to be arrogant, and their arrogance has a clear purpose, that is, to pursue benefits. So what is this benefit?

Thinking about it, it is understandable that they want to achieve greater achievements and achieve greater breakthroughs, and because arrogance allows them to face challenges, if no one dares to challenge them, they will gain greater self-confidence, which will undoubtedly provide them with

laid a solid foundation for self-realization.

In martial arts novels, young geniuses gradually grow up through challenges step by step, and through challenges they quickly gain fame.

In addition, during the challenge, the only thing they lack may be experience, but their confidence and strength are the best compensation for experience.

This also explains that narcissism is reasonable, because narcissism is an effective way to enhance self-strength.

You can think about it, if you have never won the first place but got the first place in an exam, will your mentality change?

This change is inevitable, and if you want to keep this number one, you will work harder for it. When everyone in your environment is not your opponent, you will not be satisfied with the status quo.

Will look for the next opponent.

Wu Zhihong's psychology class analyzed a case in which a woman always encountered a "domestic violence man" in her marriage. What was the reason?

The result of the case analysis is that in addition to the woman's own misfortune, the most fundamental reason is the woman's "narcissism" because she believes that all men are not good, so she wants to prove herself in every conflict

is right, and in order to prove that he is right, he does not hesitate to use any method, including brainwashing his husband, arousing his anger, and impacting his husband's "self-esteem."

"Hit me, hit me if you are a man, but you are not a man." These words made the husband gradually lose his mind, made his emotions more prominent, and eventually caused his emotions to get out of control, leading to violent behavior.

It is not difficult to understand why she always encounters "domestic violence men" because she is well versed in the behavioral patterns that initiate domestic violence.

Therefore, it is not good for people to be too narcissistic. After all, we are not so perfect, nor will we act rationally in any situation and for everything. Being too narcissistic can easily become the enemy of happiness.

Please note that it is "too", not general narcissism.

It can be understood that this kind of "too" is paranoid and will do anything to achieve the goal. Just like the woman mentioned in the case, she has mastered a set of brainwashing methods to initiate domestic violence.

Therefore, general narcissism will not affect our happiness, because a person who understands narcissism knows better how to cultivate the relationship between the two parties and how to let each of them feel themselves in their own world.

There is nothing wrong with pursuing "right" and "strong". What is wrong is pursuing what you think is "right" and "strong".

For example, in addition to one's own strength, real strength also includes resources that can be mobilized, relationships that can be coordinated, influence on others, etc., rather than invincibility of one's own strength.

To sum up, there is no problem with narcissism, what we need to avoid is "too much".

There is nothing wrong with pursuing "right" and "strong". We need to avoid understanding the wrong "right" and "strong".

There is no problem with self-actualization, the key is whether you choose the "narcissism" mode that suits you.

Practical understanding: 1. How to avoid being "too narcissistic", or how to measure "being too narcissistic".

When your narcissism makes you feel uncomfortable, it is a sign of being "too narcissistic" because your "narcissism" has made the surrounding environment hostile to you.

The correct "narcissism" is to become powerful without harming the interests of others, or to help others grow.

Just like a person who strives to make progress, he is not harming anyone's interests, he is just pursuing his own growth.

2. How to avoid the wrong words "right" and "strong".

Invoking the ability of "metacognition", the wrong "right" and "strong" are the product of our failure to think deeply, or such "right" and "strong" are based on selfish desires rather than "conscience".

Metacognition allows us to see the root of things, correct the loopholes in our thinking, and then fill the loopholes in our thinking.