Hello, subject.

Everyone wants to be a strong person, and the "strong psychological quality" you mentioned is also what many people have thought about.

Let me understand your words based on my high school years. High school was the most turbulent period in my heart. On the one hand, in order to have a good future, I had to force myself to study, so I pretended to be a person who kept studying and doing homework.

People, sitting in the classroom, others are chatting, I am doing homework, sitting in the library, others are wandering, I am doing homework.

Relying on this disguise, I hinted to myself: "If you love learning, you will get good grades." On the other hand, I was constantly slapped in the face. My academic performance and wrong answers told me: "No matter how hard I work, there will be no reward." I was exhausted.

With all my brainpower, I can't find any way to improve my performance.

I began to speculate on other people's eyes, thinking about others looking at me in a relaxed and happy way while I was studying hard, and thinking about them proudly laughing at my wasted efforts. At the same time, I tried my best to steady myself and continue to pretend that I was doing my homework.

As the questioner can tell from my story, it may not be that others have said many vicious words, but the confusion and fear in my heart have been wavering.

Later, I established various psychological barriers.

For example, I think others are superficial, I think others only see the surface of complex phenomena, and I think I don’t bother to explain anything to others.

After having a psychological barrier, I became more distant from the crowd and became more lonely.

Now I am rethinking the topic of "strong heart", and I think it is still a human illusion. No matter how strong and solid the human heart is as a stone, it cannot compare with the hardness of steel.

Based on this understanding, I make two suggestions.

The first is to reduce conflicts and avoid their sharp edges.

For example, if you are afraid of other people's eyes, then avoid it, choose a place with few people, and choose to do things at night when there are few people.

If you really can't avoid it, then just pretend that you are doing something else. If others ask you, you will deceive others.

After reducing your inner conflicts through many methods, you can secretly do your own business.

For example, a top student will choose to get up early. This is not necessarily showing off. Others are still groggy in the morning and gossip less.

Admit that your heart is made of tofu, so avoid your weaknesses and work hard.

The second is to make yourself stupid.

When people's hearts are frustrated, they tend to have random thoughts.

Serious thoughts are like the waves of the sea. How can your little heart resist it?

For example, if your academic performance is not good, you should think about whether there is something wrong with your school education.

For example, if my life is so difficult, should I change my life path? Then I think about the meaning of life.

For example, if you are always unsuccessful, should you blame the failure of your family education, which has caused you to develop a defective personality?

There may be some problems with school education, and we may not understand the meaning of life, but our little minds cannot figure it out. If we have to think about it, we are torturing ourselves.

Therefore, we need to make ourselves stupid, the reality is not what we want, and tell ourselves that we have not paid enough.

There is no need to worry about returns, because efforts are not necessarily directly proportional to returns.

Tell yourself that the future is difficult to predict and it is simple to live your life slowly.

I put the brakes on my random thoughts in time, and I felt calm in my heart. I stupidly told myself that I would just do the things in front of me well.

good luck!

People who care too much about other people's opinions are kind and sensitive people.

People who have people-pleasing qualities in relationships tend to ignore their own feelings of worth when dealing with conflicts.

I would rather wrong myself than help others.

Over time, the personality becomes more introverted and the emotions become depressed.

It is impossible for an unhappy person to bring happiness to others. You find that your compromise and compromise have not brought about a smooth relationship with others. The less you have yourself, the less they value you.

French existentialist philosopher Sartre once said, "Hell is other people."

In reality, we are often unable to help ourselves. This obstacle is the eyes of others.

The eyes of others are terrifying. They interfere unscrupulously in my choices, making me hesitate when making decisions, and even forcing me to make choices I didn't want to make.

Everyone is a unique being.

Don’t think that those good feelings of being loved, trusted, powerful, having a sense of accomplishment, etc. are given to you by others and you need to rely on a specific person or thing to get them.

It's the same as the feeling of being hurt. The event or person is just a medium, and the whole process is just a game.

It is you who projects the power and alas that originally belong to you onto the other party, and then takes it back after secondary processing and packaging.

This is what countless masters have been telling people, that you have all your essence.

It's just that when you were growing up, someone may have clipped your wings, making you unable to believe your own feelings and dare not be yourself.

But when you grow up, you can still grow out of it.

It is very simple to break the curse of "caring too much about others". Tell yourself that you are not a Chinese currency and cannot be liked by everyone.

Moreover, there are bound to be some people in this world who cannot like you no matter how perfect you are.

It's not a big deal if you don't like some people.

Instead of trying to please others, it's better to take care of yourself.

Finally, I would like to give you a quote from the psychologist Adler: Because you hope too much to be recognized by others, you will live according to other people's expectations, and you will abandon your true self and live in other people's lives.

Don't live to meet other people's expectations.