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After the governor finished speaking, the host said, "Pickles please, sausage and melon!"
(Interpreter: The township governor will now speak!)
The township chief said, "Rabbits, today's meal dogs eat, everyone's a big wangbang!"
(Translation: Comrades, there's enough rice for today, everyone is a big bowl!)
No soy sauce melon, I pick up a dog poop for you to lick....
(Translation: don't talk, I'll tell you a story...)
A governor with a heavy accent went to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive!!!"
(Translation: comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't talk, we're having a meeting now!!!)
The coach said, "Class 1 kills the chickens, Class 2 steals the eggs, and I'll make you thin rice."
(Translation: Class 1 shoots, Class 2 throws bombs, I'll show you how to do it.)
"Crouching Spring" "I'm Stupid"
Dark plums and flowers, I'm uneducated
Crouching branches hurt and hate the bottom, I'm very low in IQ
Distant smells of crouching like water, ask me who I am
Easy to see through the green of spring. A big dumb ass.
The shore is green, I am a donkey,
The shore is green, I am a donkey,
The shore is green. I am a stupid donkey
A network administrator's confession
Now the Internet cafe guests 98% are ** stupid, boot will not, input method switching will not, the letters of the case conversion will not, how to play the private service logon will not, QQ open voice will not, into the game will not exit the private service server shut down said my machine problems, **, I really want to pinch him, pinch and then kneaded into a ball, then The first thing that I want to do is to make sure that I have a good understanding of what I'm talking about, and I want to make sure that I have a good understanding of what I'm talking about.
Watch the movie smack is not Mandarin!
Asked me: "Webmaster, there is no porn to see?" I said no, he blamed the movie is not complete!
Queen's voice: "I don't know what to say, but I'm not sure what to say," he said. I ran over to take a look, the password is not right, the girl also asked me how much password !!!!
There is also a more powerful chick, . I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get the best out of this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get the best out of this, and I'm sure you're going to be able to get the best out of this.
Fainted, I still have this ability !!!!!!!
To play a CS others put a smoke bomb, he was flashed, shouting: the network administrator is dead ......
The day before yesterday a stupid MM chat QQ asked me how to type. I asked her, you will not type. She said she would. I said, then you type on the line (while helping her to adjust the input method), a moment and called me. Said: webmaster, how I can not type out the word ah. I said you want to type what words can not be typed, she told me that: you first type a "hello it", I helped her to type. Then you know what she said. "Don't go away. Just sit next to me and type for me. The whole thing is a dinosaur. Today there are fools ask me, network management I here how no QQ coins it, you help me download some QQ coins ...... **, that thing if you can download ~! I fucking don't have to go to work
The spirit of the thief
The first time, I got on the bus, in addition to the bus ride 1 dollar nothing. I felt calm all the way from the beginning to the end of the ride. But when I got off the bus at the end of the line, I found a note in my pants that said, "A grown man who goes out without a child is not ashamed of himself. --The company of thieves salute."
The second time, I carried a broken wallet with 10 cents in it. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in the wallet: "We are not beggars, please do not insult our profession, thank you. --The Company of Thieves respectfully submits."
The 3rd time, I still tucked the broken wallet, which was filled with 100 dollars of fake bills. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was inserted into my wallet: "It is illegal to keep large-value counterfeit bills in your wallet, so please turn them in to the relevant authorities, thank you. --The thief's company salutes."
The 4th time, I put a toy cell phone in my coat pocket. When I arrived at the terminal, the phone was still there, but there was an extra note: "Please do not make this joke to affect the normal work of my company, thank you. --To the Thief Company."
The 5th time, I took a toy pistol and stuck it on my waist. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the gun was gone, and a note was stuffed in the waist of my pants: "I hate you robbers, you're not technical at all! Confiscation of the tools of the trade! --The company of thieves salutes."
The 6th time, I was about to get on the bus, but it was too crowded. Waiting for the next bus, I touched my pocket, found more than 20 fast money, there is a note: "Brother, do our line of work all day wind and sun is not easy, to the 20 dollars, you want to go where to take a taxi to go, please do not fix us again! --The Thief Company salutes."
So I started pressing the keyboard too! I pressed it hard! I pressed harder! Faster than them! Louder than them!
They couldn't help but look over, and I glanced at them with contempt! They turned pale and glared at me! I glared right back!
They continued to play Power 5 with a grimace, but with more noise than me!
What would I do? So, I just slapped the keyboard with my palm! Slap it hard! I'm not going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it," he said.
These two guys stopped playing and started slapping the keyboard! The sound of the keyboard is more than I can handle!
How could I stop? I hit the keyboard with my fist right away! I'm going to hit it hard! Hit it hard!
The two men looked at each other and started hitting the keyboard too! The sound overtook me again! I don't give up! I ripped off the keyboard! I threw it to the ground! I stomped on it! I stomped on it!
The whole Internet cafe gave me the biggest applause! The two nerds were dumbfounded and didn't know what to do!
But, under my provocative gaze, they were also angry! They also ripped off the keyboard! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm not going to be able to do it. Then they also looked at me provocatively!
This time, the Internet cafe administrators will be surrounded by them! One of the administrators took a look at the keyboard that they had stomped on and slapped it in the face! Then the network administrators swarmed! The two non-professionals were beaten up!
In the end, the two non-mainstream lying on the ground, one of the non-mainstream pointing at me weakly asked: "You... How... Don't hit him?"
One of the webmasters kicked over: "He's a CS player, he brought his own keyboard!"
Piggy is making out with Chang'e on the moon, suddenly a black shadow swept past, Piggy rushed to carry a nail rake
chase out, after a while back, said: Damn, Yang Liwei ......
A driver driving a van full of hens, driving while teasing his parrot, a beautiful woman hitchhiking, the driver will put the parrot into the cargo box with the hens together, please beautiful woman sitting in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver tentatively asked the beauty: "Kiss it okay?" The beauty very shyly shook her head and said, "No." After a while, the driver asked again, "Can I have a hug?" The beauty still shook her head and said, "No." The driver said angrily, "If you can't, go down." After a while, the driver felt that his approach is very ungentlemanly, so he returned to the beautiful woman on the car, but after a while, the driver did not give up and asked: "Kiss it okay?" The beauty still shook her head, "Hug it okay?" The beauty still shook her head, "No, just go down." So repeated three times, finally arrived at the chicken farm, the driver opened the trunk, see the hens have been mu few, only to see the parrot lifted a hen and asked, "Beauty kiss it okay?" The hen desperately shook her head, and the parrot asked again, "Can a beautiful woman give you a hug?" The hen still shook her head. The parrot said, "If you can't, go down." The hen was thrown out of the car ......
The white rabbit was walking in the forest, met the big gray wolf came face to face, came up "snap" to the white rabbit two big ear stickers, said "I let you do not wear a hat". The little white rabbit is very aggrieved withdrew.
The next day, she wore a hat jumping out of the door, and encountered the big bad wolf, he came up to "pop" and gave the white rabbit two big mouth, said "I let you wear a hat."
The rabbit was depressed. After thinking about it for a long time, he finally decided to go to the king of the forest, the tiger, to complain.
After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "Okay, I know, I'll take care of it, trust the organization. On the same day, the tiger approached his buddy, the Big Bad Wolf. "You do not do it right ah, let the old me very difficult to do it." Said wiped the table floating down the cigarette ash: "Do you think this is okay huh? You can say, rabbit come here, find me a piece of meat to go! When she finds a fat one, you say you want a thin one. If she finds a thin one, you say you want a fat one. That way you can beat her up. Of course, you can say that too. Bunny, come here. Find me a woman. She finds a plump one, you say you like a slim one. If she finds a slim one, you say you like a plump one. You can beat her up in a reasonable and forceful manner." The big bad wolf nodded frequently, clapped his hands, and his respect for the tiger again rushed to a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above guidance was heard by the white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. The heart this hate ah.
The next day, the white rabbit went out again, how so coincidental, the big gray wolf walked on the face. The big bad wolf said, "Rabbit, come here, find me a piece of meat to go." The rabbit said, "Well, do you want a fat one, or a thin one?" When the Big Bad Wolf heard this, his heart sank and then rejoiced, and he said, "Luckily, there is an Option B. He added, "Rabbit, get me a woman neatly." The rabbit asked, "Well, do you like plump or slim?" The Big Bad Wolf was silent for 2 seconds, raised his hand and gave Rabbit two big ear posts even harder. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."
The white rabbit hopped over to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many"
"That's so..." The white rabbit hung his head and walked away.
The next day, the white rabbit hopped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "I'm sorry, I don't think so."
"That's right." The white rabbit went away again, downcast.
On the third day, the white rabbit hopped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
The owner said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today!"
The white rabbit pulled out his money, "Great, I'll take two!"
The prisoner was executed by firing squad, the first shot didn't go off due to the poor quality of the bullets, then the second shot was fired. The third shot was fired. At this point the prisoner cried, holding the bailiff's thighs and said: big brother you strangled me to! Too fucking scary .....
A
A psychiatric hospital heard that the leadership to come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called the patients of the meeting at the meeting,
Director of the meeting, "This afternoon, there is a very important leadership to come to visit, all of them have to go to the door to welcome. In the welcome
welcome time, all the patients stand in the hospital on both sides of the entrance, to stand neatly, when I cough, we all applaud together
applause, the more enthusiastic, the better; I stomped my feet must all stop, there can not be a mistake. To everyone do well,
This evening you can give everyone meat buns, as long as there is one person messed up, all the people have no buns to eat, remember
?" The patients on stage shouted together, "Remember!"
This afternoon, the leader arrived on time, when he stepped into the door, the welcome of the patients have stood in the doorway this
Then, with the director of the hospital coughed, all the patients applauded and welcomed, the atmosphere is very warm.
Infected by the warm atmosphere, the leader of the visit, with a smile on his face, and applauded with everyone stepped into the hospital. See the leader has entered the hospital
hospital, the dean stomped his foot, all the applause stopped, very neat. Only this leader is still smiling while clapping
Applause a forward march, the dean felt very satisfied. Suddenly, from the welcoming crowd sprang out a strong as Schwarzenegger's sick
man, stride rushed to the front of the leader, whirled round to give him a big slap, angry and unusual roar - "you Ya don't want to eat buns?!!!"
There were three men, competing together in a marksmanship contest, with a black man holding something up as a target.
The first guy puts an apple on the black guy's head, and then at a distance of 10 meters, raises his hand and breaks the apple with a single shot, he blows the muzzle of his gun and says, I'm Zorro!
The second man put a cherry on the black man's head, then at a distance of 50 meters, raised his hand and with a single shot broke the cherry, he blew out his muzzle and said, I'm007
The third man put a sesame seed on the black man's head, then at a distance of 100 meters, raised his hand and with a single shot broke the black man's head, he too blew out his muzzle and said, I' m sorry......
There was a mom who took her baby boy, Binbin, in the shower with her. Bimbin pointed to his mom's black baby and asked, "What's that?" The mom replied, "That's mommy's garage." Binbin pointed to his baby and asked, "Mommy, what's this then?" Mom replied, "That's Bim Bim's little car!" Bim-Bim said, "Can I take my cart and park it in your garage?" Mom said, "No way! That's for your daddy's 'big truck' to drive in at night."
At night, Bimbo snuck into his parents' room. "Daddy! Daddy!" Binbin exclaimed, "Your parking skills are really bad, after parking for so long, the two back wheels of your 'big truck' are still outside the garage
When I was in elementary school One time I talked in class and was caught by the teacher
The teacher said, "Again I I'll slap you out! You kick out~~"
At that time, I wanted to laugh but I didn't feel like laughing``
Tractor and BMW Bike Ride
A boss was in a very happy mood after a drink, whistling, and driving his beloved Mercedes-Benz 600 on the highway, when he noticed that there was a farm tractor parked on the side of the road and there was a man waving his hand. So, he stopped the car. It turned out that this tractor was broken down on the road and wanted to find someone to help tow it away. The owner was in a very happy mood today and agreed.
The two men agreed at the same time that if the tractor hit the right turn signal, keep driving. If the tractor hits the left turn signal, stop the car. Then the boss hit the road in his Mercedes 600 with the tractor. (Of course, driving very slowly.) Suddenly, a BMW sedan overtook them from behind at a very high speed, and the boss took a look, got very angry, and scolded angrily, "No one dares to overtake my Mercedes 600 yet!" So, he immediately hang high-grade, step on the gas pedal, running after the BMW on the chase. (Because he had been drinking, he had forgotten that there was a tractor behind him.) The boss quickly caught up with the BMW, and when they were going 280mph, they were spotted by a traffic police officer on the side of the road, and it was too late to stop them, so he took out his walkie-talkie and contacted with the next section of the police: "Hey, hey, hey, two cars were found going fast, one is a BMW and the other is a Mercedes 600. BMW, a Mercedes 600, please stop them, no, it is three cars in a joyride, followed closely by a tractor, and the tractor is also playing the left turn signal, want to overtake 。。。。
A: "Look at the kid playing with the ball, is it a boy or a girl?"
B: "It's a girl, she's my daughter."
A: "Oh ...... I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were her father."
B: "No ...... I'm her mom ......"
I was jogging along the industrial road at dusk.
A young man ran up behind me and called sharply in my ear, "Run!"
"What happened?" I asked the young man beside me.
"Run." The young man ran ahead of me.
After I had quickly chased after him for five hundred meters, I asked after him, out of breath, "What the hell happened?"
"You were running too slow." The young man left me behind and ran off on his own.
A hen was comfortably incubating her eggs when suddenly, an egg came hard out from under her butt.
Hen: "What happened? How did you get out?"
Little egg: "You ...... you ...... you farted!"
Hen: @#$$* & ......
Lao Chen: "What a bummer last night."
Lao Li: "What happened?"
Lao Chen: "I went home early last night, in the past I would always hug my maid in the dark, who knows that last night I was hugging my wife."
Lao Li: "That doesn't matter!"
Lao Chen: "But my wife said ~ Little Feng, Lao Chen is coming back soon, why don't you go!"
There was a mom out with her little baby, on the bus, coaxing her baby.
One of the passengers just got curious and put his head over to look at it and just said, "Wow! What an ugly baby!"
The mom was so upset that she cried and cried and cried.
Then the bus stopped at a certain stop and some new passengers came on. A kind passenger saw her crying and said, "Why are you crying so hard, ma'am? You have to look on the bright side, there is nothing that can't be solved! It's all right! It's okay! Don't cry anymore! I'll get you a glass of cold water! I'll get you some cold water.
After a while, the passenger really poured a glass of water for her and said, "Okay, stop crying, drink this glass of water and you'll feel better. And this banana is for your monkey!"
There was a Taiwanese man named "Ah Chung" who immigrated to the United States with his family.
One morning when Ah Chung was sweeping the floor in front of his house, he suddenly saw his next-door neighbor and greeted him with, "I'm Ah Chung!" (
The next-door neighbor greeted him back with "Good morning!"
Ah-Chung didn't understand English, so he thought it was strange.
The next day, Ah Chung met the next door neighbor again and said, "I'm Ah Chung!" (
The next door neighbor replied, "Good morning!"
Ah Chung felt strange again.
At night, he asked his daughter what the next-door neighbor meant by Good morning, and she replied, "That means good morning to you!"
On the third day, Chong once again met his next-door neighbor and said, "Good morning!"
This time, Chong thought to himself, "This time, you can't be wrong, right? But the neighbor said back, "I'm Chung!"
Ah Chung froze on the spot ......
A: "Old man, why are you dumping other people's wheat into your own sack?"
B: "Because I'm half crazy!"
A: "If you are a half-crazy man, then why don't you pour your own wheat into other people's sacks?"
B: "Then I would be completely insane!"
A and B were arguing about the existence of miracles in the world A: If someone falls down from the third floor and remains unharmed, what is not a miracle?
B: That's lucky.
A: What if that person falls again and doesn't get hurt?
B: That would be a blessing.
A: What if he fell again and was fine?
B: Wow! That's just good training!
A dog lover took his favorite puppy out for a trip. One day on a yacht, the puppy was suddenly lost in the water, and the traveler asked the captain to stop the boat and salvage the puppy.
The captain explains that he can't stop the boat because of a dog, which isn't as important as saving a life.
The passenger jumped into the water and called for help. The captain had no choice but to stop the boat and salvage him and the dog.
A nearsighted traveler, while roaming along the river, saw a sign erected in the center, but unfortunately the words in the middle were hard to read. Curious, he took off his shoes and waded into the river to find out what was going on, only to see that the sign read: ＜Do not eat crocodiles, please. >
A: "Why did you break off your engagement with Mr. Chang?"
B: "Yesterday we went to a palm reader and the fortune teller said I would have two children, but said he would have four. Think about it. Who did he have the two extra children with?"
A young couple, newly married for a short time, received many wedding gifts from family and friends, some of which were very expensive, while others were practical. Among them was an envelope containing just two movie tickets and a small note with just five small words written on it: guess who I am? The couple thought long and hard about who would send them movie tickets.
After thinking about it for half a day they just couldn't figure it out. "Forget it! Why don't we just stop thinking about it, since it's a kind gesture, we'll just go to the movies tonight." Mr. said to Mrs.
When the couple returned home after the movie, they were shocked to find that the house had been burglarized and all the valuables had been removed.
A note is found on the dining room table that reads, "Guess who I am!
A mother mouse with a few mice strolled in the grass, suddenly came a cat, the mice scared all hide, only the mother mouse calm and collected, did not hide away. See the cat closer and closer, the mice are very afraid, just at this time, the mother mouse learned a dog barking, the cat did not know which is fraudulent, turned around and ran away. When the cat ran away, the mice came out one by one, looking at their mother, and when all the mice were there, the mother mouse taught the mice: "Children, how important it is to master a foreign language!"
A: "I bought a copy of Memory Tricks yesterday, it's so good I read it in one sitting last night"
B: "Can I borrow it to read?"
A: "Sure, gee, where did I put it aside?"
The thief stole a chicken and was plucking its feathers by the river, when a policeman approached, and the thief hurriedly remained the chicken in the river.
The policeman asked, "What are you doing? What's in the river?"
The thief said, "That's a chicken, it's going across the river, and I'm here to help it with its clothes ......"
In one of the refrigerators ...... there was a carton of fresh eggs ......
One of the eggs spoke up, "Hey, hey! Look ...... at that black, green and ugly egg in the corner ......"
"Really ......! It's so out of place in the midst of all that white us ......!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah ......"
Then the black, green, and ugly egg turned his head and said, "Who said kiwi's can't be put in egg holders . ...?"
An ophthalmologist successfully cured a famous surrealist painter of an eye disease. When it came time to charge him, the doctor said he could do it for nothing, but wanted the painter to paint a picture of him, with the content of the painter's choice.
The painter was so grateful that the doctor had cured him of his eye disease that he painted a huge eye, fine in every detail, and a perfect portrait of the doctor right in the center of the pupil.
The ophthalmologist saw the painting and was immediately struck by the artist's extraordinary artistic expression. He opened his mouth wide in astonishment and said, "Thank God I'm not an anorectal surgeon.
Do you know why ...... his father didn't blame Washington when he chopped down the cherry tree ......
Haha ...... because Washington still had the axe in his hand
Kobayashi and Lee had a nice conversation about the way things are done, and Kobayashi said, "Believing only half of what people tell you is the reason I'm successful today."
Lee said, "I'm the opposite of you. I always believe twice as much in what others say, and I am
successful today as well."
Kobayashi was very surprised to hear this and immediately asked, "Ah, is there such a thing?
May I ask where you are currently employed?" "The tax collection office." The tycoon invited many of his friends to visit his three swimming pools. Everyone was aghast and asked why he needed three.
He said, "The first one is the same as a normal swimming pool, filled with cold water and used for the same purpose. The second one is filled with hot water and is used in cold weather. The third one is not filled with water."
"And what kind of swimming pool does it become without filling it with water?"
"I have some friends who are dry ducks and they should not use cold or hot water pools, so this was built especially for them."
In a campaign to publicize funeral and burial practices, a TV station interviewed the wife of the deceased on the spot, "Do you plan to adopt sea burial?"
This woman shook her head repeatedly and said, "No, he couldn't swim."
A thief arrived at a house and found nothing, and was about to leave when the owner said, "Please close the door."
The thief said dismissively, "You don't even have to close the door at your house."
The rich man asked the beggar, "Why does the dog bite when it sees you?"
The beggar said, "If I had a few good clothes to wear, the beast would respect me!"
The watchdog died, and the autopsy showed that he had eaten his own meat with poison, and the owner wondered how he could have eaten the poisoned meat, which was used to poison feral cats that came to steal food, and was kept in the barn while the dog was always chained by the gate.
Out of the gate, there are a few poisoned wild cats not far away, the owner is always confused, and the neighbor said this matter, the neighbor said, "This is still not understand, it is clear that the dog is to eat the kickback dead."
"What's that lump on your head?" A man asked his friend.
"I was about to walk into a building when I saw a notice on the door, and since I'm nearsighted, I peered over to see it."
"What did the notice say?"
"Beware: the door opens outward!"
A young man rushed down the pier, and with a single bound jumped onto the ferry three feet offshore, saying that he had finally caught the boat!"
The man next to him laughed and said, "Our boat is docking!"
--From now on, I am going to be nobler than before.
- Promoted?
--No, you see, I have three gold teeth inlaid.
One day went to Foshan, Guangdong on business, riddle road. See the roadside an old lady cool, they went up to ask for directions. Who knows Yi pointing and babbling half a day, but I don't know what to say. Roadside a middle-aged man over, said with a smile: she said she did not understand your dialect.
Dull and Agua are a pair of good friends, but Agua is more handsome, more girlfriends, so Dull would like Agua to introduce some girls to him Dull.
"Agua, you have so many girlfriends, introduce one or two to me! A?" Dale said.
Agua said, "Not good ...... introduce bad sorry you ......"
Dull: "Then introduce beautiful ah!"
Agua: "Then I'm sorry for myself ......"
The life of a flea
Once upon a time, there was a flea that lived on a female cellist's genitals, but every morning it would be awakened by the sound of the violin, so it planned to move. So he decided to move. Once at a public performance, it realized that the conductor's beard was a good place to live, so it moved its home to the conductor's beard. After that, he thought he wouldn't be bothered by the sound of the fiddle anymore.
But a few days later he was awakened by a loud noise, and when he looked around, he cursed --- "Why am I back here again?"
Swallowing
The introducer took a drag on his cigarette, then asked, "Girl, what's your initial impression of the guy?"
Girl: "He talks like you smoke."
Introducer: "Natural, dashing?"
Girl: "No, stammers!"
The Unbreakable Quilt
The teacher taught the students to recognize the new word "quilt" in the classroom, and Ming didn't understand it, so the teacher patiently inspired him to say, "What's on top of the bed when you go to sleep at night?"
"It's the sheet."
"What's on top of the sheets?"
"It's my mom." The class laughed.
The teacher, not discouraged, pressed again, "And above your mom?"
Small Ming mumbled, "It's my dad ......"
Wolf vs Woman
On a crowded subway car during commuting hours, a timid wolf got up the nerve to get his hands on the woman next to him. After a few stops, he was ready to get off the train when he was kicked by the woman. He was very ashamed and said "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean it".
The woman said angrily, "Sir, if you can't finish the job, don't do it."
Mrs. Test Taking
A rich wife wanted to get her driver's license.
At the test center, the examiner asked her, "Ma'am, could you please answer, what does that white line in the road indicate?"
Mr. ...... That's probably for bicycles."
"And what does the sign that looks like an S mean?"
"It's an indication that there are snakes in the lot ......"
The binoculars
A wife called the police station and said, "Officer, there's a man naked in the building next door."
The officer said, "Ma'am, we'll be right there."
(Five minutes later, the officer arrives at the scene)
The officer asks, "There? Ma'am!"
Mrs. said, "Right here, officer. He's still doing what he's doing, naked without shame."
The officer asks, "Right there? Mrs.! I did not see any naked men."
Mrs. said, 'You'd have to use binoculars to see him!'
Oral Cancer
One day, in chemistry class, the teacher talked about Perspex casually mentioning a lot of things about Perspex.
Only to hear a cry from offstage, "Perspex condoms!
The teacher said in a serious tone:
"Don't use Perspex condoms in the future, because you'll get [skin cancer]...".
At this point, someone on stage suddenly shouted, "It's over, it's over, I'm going to get mouth cancer!"
The class teacher's humor
One year our school was fortunate enough to participate in the opening ceremony rehearsals for the Eight Games, and on the day of the official opening, a lot of celebrities came, so the female students were all in disarray. The next day, the class teacher came to the class president to ask: "Yesterday on the field when the students are all right? Was anyone undisciplined?" The homeroom teacher replied, "Not much else, but when Zhang Xinzhe came out, many female students rushed out to watch." The class teacher's next words made countless students faint, and was also rumored to be a "good story". Because the class teacher asked, "Zhang Xinzhe? I don't know what to say, but I'm not sure what to say," he said.
Foolish repudiation
Plain there is a family, married a Bohai local women as a daughter-in-law, this daughter-in-law has the talent and virtue and appearance, known as one in a hundred. After marriage, the couple was very good, the second year gave birth to a fat doll. The husband was very happy, took his wife and children to visit his mother-in-law's home, his mother-in-law was happy to busy this and that.
But when he returned from the visit, his son-in-law took his daughter-in-law off.
The daughter-in-law asked the reason, the husband replied: "This time to visit relatives, see your mother old face is full of wrinkles, I'm afraid that you will be old in the future will also be this way, so you will be off."
The cat doesn't know
A psychiatric patient who always thought he was a mouse finally recovered with the help of a doctor. On the day he was discharged from the hospital, this patient had just walked to the door when a cat suddenly appeared in front of him, dazzling him.
Doctor: You're better now, why are you still like that?
Patient: I know I'm not a mouse anymore, but does the cat know? Give credit where credit is due