"A good word can warm you in the winter, but a bad word can hurt you in the cold months."

In our lives, there are many people who use the guise of "being straightforward" to rub salt into other people's wounds. people. They say whatever they say, and what they say never makes sense.

"Nonviolent Communication" points out two inappropriate communication methods.

The first inappropriate way of communication is moral judgment. They are self-centered and use their own moral standards to judge others. If the other person's behavior does not conform to their own values, they will think that the other person is wrong and immoral.

Because a female guest on a certain show loves to gossip, her sister and brother-in-law got divorced when she went to her boyfriend's house for the first time. The relationship between her grandma and her mother became tense, and there was a lot of commotion at home.

The thing is probably that this girl speaks outspokenly, regardless of the occasion or the severity, and she feels that what she says is the truth and there is nothing wrong with her. In the end, he was scolded by teacher Tu Lei and made him cry.

This female guest judged others based on her own morality, and never thought about whether I should tell this matter, in this situation, whether I should tell it, and whether the other party is willing. Being stabbed.

The second inappropriate way to communicate is through comparison. In the process of communication, this type of people will compare each other with others. Then impose your own ideas on the other party.

Xiaona’s married life is very ordinary. Her husband takes her to and from get off work every day, and sometimes brings her lunch at noon. She feels very happy. However, one day, Xiaona came to the company carrying a new bag that her husband bought for her. When her new colleague Lili saw it, she asked: "I bought a new bag. How much does it cost?"

Xiaona smiled and touched the bag gently and replied: "My husband bought it for me. It's cheap, only more than a hundred yuan!" As soon as she finished speaking, Lili's expression became sarcastic and she said: "My husband bought it for me. The cheapest bag I bought is only five to six hundred. How can I carry a bag that costs more than one hundred?"

Xiaona smiled awkwardly and held her new bag back slightly.

At noon, Xiaona’s husband came to bring her lunch, and other colleagues cheered: "Hey, the love lunch is here again. We are so envious."

"This It’s a love lunch. It doesn’t even have a piece of meat. The food is unappetizing. Xiaona, you are so pathetic.” Suddenly, Lili didn’t mean to stop. You're taking me to eat Western food and drink some red wine. "

All the colleagues present left in silence. Xiaona pursed her lips and picked up her chopsticks to continue eating. meal. That was done for her by her beloved husband himself.

After get off work, Xiaona walked out of the office door and was greeted by her husband who came to pick her up. She ran over. Jump into the car skillfully. Just when she was about to leave, Lili appeared. "Why did you drive a battery car to pick her up? You see, I drive a four-wheel car after all." Lili said this without knowing what to do.

Xiaona's husband's face turned dark immediately and he stood there at a loss.

"What's wrong with the battery car? I just love riding a battery car. Did you buy our car with your money? You are messing around with other things every day." Xiaona's little face was bulging with anger. said.

Lili retorted: "I have a straightforward personality and speak outright, but I do it for your own good. Girls still have to be more demanding to live a good life."

" Yes, you do it for my own good. You think the bag I carry is cheap is for my own good. You say that my food is shabby because it is for my own good. You say that I ride a two-wheeled electric car is for my own good. But that’s all. You think it, but I don’t. Whether it’s a cheap bag or a shabby meal, it’s all the love my husband gives me. Don’t use your heartfelt words to cover up your unbridled words, okay?” Xiaona finished her sentence in one breath. If you hold it in for a few days.

There are not a few people like Lili in life. I once heard a saying that makes sense - don't use your own happiness to hurt the happiness of others. Maybe you think that the other person is not as good as you, so she won't be happy, but that's just what you think.

Getting along with others and speaking are also a matter of course. What some people say just makes people feel comfortable. But some people's words are barbed and every word is heart-wrenching.

All in all, in life, we must be people who can speak the language of love. Learning to speak well is also the most basic quality of human beings. In this way, our families will be more harmonious, our friendships will be more lasting, and our society will be more harmonious.