The tiger doesn't make a move, you think I'm hello kitty
You know why the flowers are scented?
It's because of me
Do you know why the leaves are green?
That's still because of me
Know why asses stink?
That's because of old white
Imagine what it can be like to be 18,000 times scarier than a mountain bandit Being forced into marriage by you
Imagine what it can be like to be 18,000 times scarier than a mountain bandit Just look in the mirror and you'll know
The happiness of a woman is to marry a man and serve him for the rest of her life.
Why isn't he the one who serves me for the rest of my life.
Know why you can't get married ~ ~
God ah, you are highly myopic plus astigmatism, or glaucoma presbyopia cataracts ah, you're blind as this, and do not go to do a retinal surgery ah
Music is the same as being a person, once you get on the realm, you will never be able to come down
The road is long, I will go up and down the east, west, south, north and south of the middle of the hair white Everywhere I go, I will seek for the best.
Remember, it is not the ground you sweep, but your dusty heart.
Yes, we are all dusty heart, just you, out of the mud and not stained, living in the toilet and not stink
asked the world whether this mountain is the highest, there is a love of the waifu like a piece of treasure, the sky if there is a love of the sky is also old, love you to love to forget, can not forget your love, can not forget your good, can not forget your drunken lingering, and the fingers of the taste of light tobacco ~ ~ ~
If I have such a good a
If I had such a good man, I would treasure him, love him, treat him like a treasure, shut him up at home every day, not let him go out, only allowed to accompany me to talk to one person, only allowed to eat the food that I do alone, hey, why don't I just have a dog
A warrior who is alien to the world, a man who is like a mystery, a lonely and affectionate traveler...
If you have a man who is alien to the world, a man who is like an enigma, a lonely and affectionate traveler... ...a madman who regards glory and wealth as dung ...... a wise man who knows how to enjoy life, a man who is truly alive ...... This is him, a great warrior born in the jianghu and famous in the imperial court. ...... What is his name? ...... Gold and white jewelry to buy songs and smiles, a drunken moon and light princes and lords, what a poetic name ...... In the face of life's setbacks, and unreasonable accusations, the choice of the great warrior Lu , then as the song sings ...... you hurt me, I laughed it off.
Where am I born and where do I die, why do I appear in this world, what does my appearance mean to the world, does the world choose me, or do I choose the world? Is there an inevitable connection between me and the universe, does the universe have an end, does time have a length, where does past time disappear, and where does future time stop, are the questions I am asking at this moment still the same questions you just heard? Who killed me, and who did I kill!
Lu Xiu Cai: What can I do?
The boss's wife looked at him and said: just stay alive.
Then pointed to the counter and said, Stand there and don't move.
Lv Xiu Cai: Why?
The boss's wife: to save energy, eat less for dinner.
Lv Xucai immediately ran in front of the counter, expressionless and motionless.
Li Dazui's mom:Son, when you are defeated by the enemy someday and he wants to kill you, you must let him read the words on your back before dying generously!
(four words on the back: good man spare your life)
Ten niang in order to stay, give Tong shopkeeper a hundred taels of silver, the gang despised Tong shopkeeper? The gang is indignant: "A hundred taels of silver to you to get rid of ah!" Tong shopkeeper: "I look at Jian (see) silver beat (on) the head to make a fuss (brain) law (hair) faint grin ...... I this is not to see the money eye open ah?" Everyone: "Too yes!" Tong shopkeeper: "......" Guys: "You say you're not ashamed, ah" Tong shopkeeper bowed his head: "Shame... ...(then looked up and smiled) Shy, and happy"
"People in the world floating, who can not take a knife? White Camel Mountain Bone Strengthening Powder, internal and external use have miraculous effects. I've been cut and coated with a packet, and I want to be cut again, and I've flashed my back and eaten a packet, and I've lived to be two hundred years old. White camel mountain strong bone powder, the powder of youth, the powder of friendship, Huashan Jian designated nutrients, the town's major pharmacy medical hall are on sale, when you buy, please recognize the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark, quack, quack ......"
Wu Shuang: general general, Hong Kong sister third, your dress beckons. Guo Furong: very ugly and ugly, Asian sister ninth, all by a pair of dexterous hands. Guo Furong: your beauty, from the inside out to live blood to nourish the face, ice and jade clean people pity. Wushuang: your beauty, from bone to skin touching the sky and earth, this love can wait to become a memory.
Palmistress: What is your goal? Guo Furong: to be a warrior of the world. Shopkeeper: so far to mention it to do what it, say a close. Guo Furong: increase wages. The shopkeeper: this is farther than the previous one
Xiu Cai: the next is the classic line one, two, three, four, action
The boss's wife: hungry wrong, hungry at the beginning of the wrong, hungry if you do not marry, hungry husband will not be dead, hungry husband will not die amount will not be down to this place ...
The boss's wife: hungry wrong, hungry at the beginning of the wrong, hungry if you do not marry, hungry husband will not die amount will not be down to this place ...
Xiu Cai: I'm wrong. I'm really wrong at the beginning. If I hadn't married my husband would never die if my husband would not die. never die if my husband would not die I wouldn't be here...
"Ah, my blazing biceps~~~!!!"
The God of Thieves: How can you be such a thief? After stealing something, you still help people clean up the house
The Stealing Saint (white): that doesn't clean up can it work? People want to follow the footprints and chase after them.
The God of Thieves: You've got the stuff, and you're going to give it back to them after a few days of fun?
The Stealing Saint: How can you not send it back? You're not in a hurry to lose something!
"Do you think I love money that much?"
"You are!"
"I'm ashamed"
"It's good to know you're ashamed"
"Shame and joy"
Each to his own, each to his own mother! This one my old girlfriend used to say all the time. （
Mo Xiaobei:You just let me die!
The boss's wife:You want to die? Wait until you finish your studies!
After that, I fondly said to GG, next time we karaoke, also order "Du Shuniang" to sing it~~ Langjun ah ......
Mi: What are you?
Passerby: a penny ah.
Xiaomi: Do you know what day it is today?
The passer-by: ......
Xiaomi: today is the fifteenth, the first fifteen is beggar's day off, here you go.
The next day, millet and met the passer-by
millet: return my money
passer-by: you are not do not want
millet: yesterday is the fifteenth, today is the sixteenth I go to work
millet: why do you grab my bowl
old white: nonsense, the road on you alone do not grab you grab who
mother: I eat more salt than you eat rice more! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that!
Li Dazui: That's because you have a heavy mouth! ~
Niang: I've crossed more bridges than you've walked! ~
Li Dazui: That's because I'm lazy ~! ~!
Guo Furong complimented Sheriff Xing: He's really a bully in Seven Heroes Town~!
Li Dazui: Who is that mom?
Lv Xiu Cai muttered to himself as he practiced collecting a debt from Guo Furong: Xiao Guo, how are you doing these days? If you have any difficulties, just say so, and if you don't have any difficulties to create them, you should also say so~! ~!
Xing praised the next door Yihonglou (the name is not like a restaurant) is good: they hired the chef of ***;
Boss lady: we hired the chef of Huanghelou
Xing looked at the boss lady,
Boss lady: Oh, washing dishes is also a serious craft ~! ~! (ps: Li Dazui used to be a dishwasher at the Yellow Crane House)
Xing constable: the other people's wine is authentic daughter red
Boss's wife: our wine is self-adjusted **, ........., and by the way the water does not go to the head when you drink it~! ~1
Xing constable: people invited the famous big bowl to sing **
Boss's wife: we also have Lotus Flower Drops here, (shouted) millet, to a section,
Millet (beggar outside the door): is eating it, no time ~! ~!
Small Guo: I can't sing ah.
It's okay, Brother Cui is not here, you can fake sing ~~~
Lv Xiu Cai:Zi once said ......
Small Bei pinched three clay figures, one is called Zhang Fei, one is called Yue Fei, and one is called Wang Fei
....... If heaven gives me another chance, I will definitely say three words to you: "less .... Put .... Salt"----- fall to the ground...
"I was born to be a cook, being a constable is not my pursuit"
Furong and Xiu Cai PK:
Furong: Suppose I can slap you to death in three slaps, and every time I slap you, you scream out "spare me your life". Then ask: how many words will you say before you die?
Showman: I refuse to answer that question.
Furong: Then it's considered an automatic abstention.
Shoucai: scream 3 times, 4 words each time, 12 words a ****.
Furu: Wrong! It's 9 words!
Showtime: why?
Furong: the first palm down, "Lady Warrior spare your life", four words; the second palm down, "Lady Warrior spare your life", eight words; the third palm down, immediately dead, you only said a word "ah! ", 8 + 1 = 9 ......
The theft of the saint of white jade soup gave a note to the policewoman, which reads "I want to steal your heart". The female constable's heart was hot, the note slipped out of her hand, and it happened to fall into the hands of the criminal Yusen who was checking the night below, and he immediately shouted 。。。。 It's not good~~~ White Jade Soup is going to eat people 。。。。。。。。。。。
Lao Xing's self-hypnosis: this is not clear soup noodles ...... this is not clear soup noodles ...... this is not clear soup noodles ...... this is eel noodles... ...This is eel noodle ...... This is eel noodle ...... This is not a small pickle, this is not a small pickle, this is not a small pickle ...... This is slipped fat intestines, this is slipped Fatty Intestine, this is Fatty Intestine ...... (Bite) Whose Fatty Intestine is this? Why is it so salty and crispy?
Bai Zhan party and Xiao Guo jointly steal back the ring, the criminal constable to first in the pawnshop, antique stores, grocery store search a whole
Small Guo: how or not?
The criminal police chief: then search the green house?
Small Guo: How is it still not there?
The criminal police chief: (moody) mother come, affect the career wow!
Hengshan faction infighting, I heard because the head of the newlyweds for the use of public funds to build houses .... Corruption ah what ....
Lv Xiu Cai: what can I do?
The boss's wife looked at him and said: you just live.
Then pointed to the counter and said: stand there and don't move.
Lv Xiu Cai: Why?
The boss's wife: to save energy, eat less for dinner.
Lv Xiu Cai immediately ran in front of the counter, expressionless and motionless.
Slap at will, silver must be given~~
Li Dazui's mom: child, when you are defeated by the enemy someday he wants to kill you, you must let him read the words on your back and then generously die!
(Four words behind the back: Good man spare your life)
Seeing you in this dorky state makes me want to be barbaric~~
Small Guo and the boss's wife were making up some kind of story, and Old Xing was pointing to his own head very seriously: "Look at what this is?"
". Is. It's your head..."
"Right! But it doesn't have water in it!"
Illegal bookseller Dame Pham's catchphrase: The root ~ there's someone up there!""
"Wudang's Chongxu Taoist priest persuaded her half a day, but did not listen, but also called people miscellaneous hair, called the abbot of Shaolin bald ass, Omei school of Xuanjing masters came up to play round, she did not appreciate, but asked what the relationship between those three "
Kai Lantern masters received a full set of the Seven Injury Fist, flew in the sky for half an hour before they came down <
You really can't help yourself
Who's Dou?
Shui Xu Li, 109 generals
Nonsense, only 108 generals in Shu Xu Li, if you say the Three Kingdoms, maybe I believe
It is also the Three Kingdoms, the old white finally relieved a little bit, Ah Dou is the son of Liu Bei
You are not pulling it! Liu Bei's last name is Liu, his last name is Ah, how can he be his son?
Everyone is helpless to Guo Furong, gathered together to Tong shopkeeper to count her not
Dazui: shopkeeper, you do not know ah, on her face, change of fast, high acting skills, in my life I have seen people, only Qingxia and Man Yu can compete with it
ZhanTang: that's also her play is out of order, Qingxia and Man Yu over the top ah..."
Guests, people, good evening, welcome to the Tongfu Inn, to participate in the first chicken king competition Vast sky, nurtured our history and civilization, the years like a shuttle, created our diligence and goodness, in this clear sky, we chant and sing, in this vast land, we are free to soar!
Xing arrest: Bai Zhan Tang, wait for the board, say goodbye to your delicate buttocks .....
Zhantang: I'm fine, the thirteen taho golden bell mask, I practice is the buttocks ....
"When you get to the top of the mountain, you realize that the wrong way and the right way are just a few steps apart."
"Sometimes catching a thief is just that simple."
"Where's your sword? "
"The sword is in the heart. What about you? Why don't you have a sword?"
"No sword in hand, sword in heart."
The camera zooms in for a close-up of the two men pulling each other's hair, slapping and biting,
while shouting at each other, "Let go, let go! You let go first! You first!"