(a) blind date (rural, stay now, but free love don't want this link,)
This is the beginning of marriage between men and women. In the past, under the shackles of feudal ethics, young men and women were not allowed to communicate freely during their unmarried period. Besides, it was naturally difficult to get married at that time. Now it's the matchmaker's introduction (called "introducer" in ancient times), and the woman goes to the man's house to have a look. There are also men who go to the woman's house, but I have some opinions. Basically, it can be settled (to put it bluntly, how do you feel when two people meet? That's settled). The introducer here not only plays the role of "threading the needle", but also has the function of marriage witness, which is absolutely necessary not only in the past, but also today.
"Blind date" is an act that men and women propose to each other after they know each other's children. It is often one parent who asks the matchmaker to propose marriage to the other parent for their children. In the marriage activities for both parties, the matchmaker has almost no taboos except entertaining wine and rice. For some needs, there are also heavy bribes to the matchmaker, the purpose is nothing more than to please the matchmaker and ask the matchmaker to put in a good word for his children to achieve the goal of perfection and harmony. Now I don't think blind date is good either. The two men did it by feeling, and they didn't know much about each other's personalities. I heard many colleagues say that it is always difficult to get along with each other when going home on a blind date, because others can, but the mirror at home is not good, and people can feel that they are not worthy.
(2) Engagement is a key ceremony in the wedding ceremony, and it is also an effective measure taken by both men and women for fear that the other party will dissolve the engagement. Its role is equivalent to getting a "marriage certificate" now. When you were engaged before, you said that your marriage was only 90% successful. At present, the etiquette of engagement is that the man should set a good day (of course, invite people who can watch) and inform the introducer and the woman's family. In addition, the man's family began to prepare money and "Bao Gong" (now a catty of sugar and red dates), as well as human feelings (depending on the size of human feelings and "Bao Gong", the introducer asked the woman's parents) and the man's family should invite the man's relatives and village leaders. The etiquette on the day of engagement is that in the morning, the parties and matchmaker in the man's house will send the air to the woman's house together with the "Bao Gong" and the fixed money, and then take the woman's parents to the man's house (the members of the woman's house who go to the south on the same day should be like this, usually the woman's father and brother or younger brother, and the man will set off firecrackers to warmly welcome the woman's arrival. Next, dinner. After dinner, there is a grand ceremony, that is, the woman in the man's family orders tea and brings the woman's sugar water to the man's relatives and village leaders. When they drink sugar water, they will release money, which is commonly known as tea money. Then the parents of both sides will talk back, and the village leaders will also talk (mostly encouraging both men and women to make some demands). Finally, the man sent the woman and the woman clothes, cloth and money to their relatives and referees to set off firecrackers to express warm farewell. The man's party will also go, and the woman's house will also have a banquet in the evening (it's a bit difficult to break off an engagement, as I said before, a cup of tea is a cup of wine).
(3) Send "days"
Let the man set an auspicious day first, and let the matchmaker go to the woman's house to negotiate and determine the wedding date. Then he asked the matchmaker to write the "date", commonly known as "date", on a rectangular envelope folded with red paper, write the word "predicted wedding date", write the wedding date on the envelope, and buy the required bride price according to the gift list provided by the woman. (Now the bride price is gift money and wedding candy) Send it with him. The woman's parents hosted a banquet to entertain the matchmaker, which included the meaning of reward. (On the day of delivery, the man will set off firecrackers at the woman's house, which means telling her neighbors that when the date comes, the woman's neighbors will know to "pretend to get married". In the past, it was mostly for loading things, but now it is mostly for loading money. (Generally, it's more than 100 yuan, and the average neighbor seems to be 40 yuan. I can only say that my hometown is like this)
(4) Start the media
This is a move by both men and women to ask for help from the matchmaker before marriage. The groom should bring a red envelope (it looks like 400 in the countryside now) and three pounds of meat (it used to be three pounds of meat, a pair of red envelopes, cloth, socks, towels and so on). ) Go to the matchmaker's house the afternoon before the wedding, and invite the matchmaker to the man's house for dinner and hold a sumptuous banquet. The matchmaker sits first, and the man's elders "accompany the matchmaker" to show their respect and gratitude to the matchmaker. The woman should also introduce the media. In addition to the above gifts, she should also wear cloth shoes to reward him for running out of shoes during the marriage process.
(5) Marriage
Before getting married, the bride should "open her face", roll off the fluff on her face with taro hemp, and some even pull off some eyebrows to distinguish married from unmarried. This is an old practice, but it is out of fashion now. On the night of birth, the bride's parents and immediate family members will "shop the box" for the bride. Put several boxes of money in the four corners and the center of the bride's suitcase. Money should be in pairs. After the suitcase is filled with cloth, shoes, socks, towels and other things are put on it. After arriving at her in-laws' home, the bride should let her mother-in-law unpack and check, and watch the bride "send". Lock the suitcase after reading it and give the key to the bride for safekeeping. At the same time, take away the shoes, towels and other things that the new wife prepared in the suitcase. And put a red envelope, which is called opening the luggage envelope.
My mother, menstruation, my brothers and sisters, and my uncle, commonly known as Gao Qin, saw me off. The father will not send his daughter away, nor will he go to his son-in-law's house with him until he comes home. Don't send a widowed person to see her off, lest it be unlucky. When Gao Qin goes to a man's house, he should wash his hands and face, commonly known as "welcoming dust", and at the same time give the water pourer a "reward". Nowadays, in rural areas, the man pays attention to the odd number of people when he goes to the woman's house to pick up relatives. The woman is sent with even numbers (but 16 is not good. In rural areas, 16 is unlucky. It is said that 16 was a dead man 16 carried the dead up the mountain. Federal-Mogul wine is out of fashion now. It is usually made into wedding wine. On the wedding day, the man's bride-to-be team rushed to the woman's house for breakfast. ) There are also a lot of politeness in the middle. If someone serves rice and pours wine for the groom at a banquet. The groom wants to give a red envelope.
6. Welcome
This is a ceremony for the groom to greet the bride at the woman's house, and it is also an important process of the wedding. On that day, the man took five mats of pigs, sheep, geese, fish and chickens to the woman's house, commonly known as the five sacrificial poles, and those that were not were converted into cash. This is a decent gift. All five big poles should be painted red to show good luck. At the same time, bring a special sacrificial dish for the harem, such as chicken (announcing the dawn), fish (standby), braised pork (reunion), bamboo shoots (noble), vermicelli (kindness), yellow flowers (faithfulness), jiaozi with meat stuffing (harmony), cakes (unity) and so on. , must be paired. Now there are ten bowls in my hometown, and the bottom of radish should be covered with rice. And a pair of red wine bottles. The man went to get two bottles of wine and came back with a bottle of wine and a bottle of water. There are also noodles made of grey noodles and boiled eggs, or old people under the moon or Antarctic fairy Weng, which have auspicious meanings such as blessing longevity. When you get to the bride's house, the gifts will be taken away by your parents. At this time, parents prepared a simple banquet for herdsman. When the pimp comes back, he will also take away the bride's dowry. If there are not enough people, the woman's family will ask another gift-giving man to carry it, each with an envelope. The envelope of the porter who carries the footbath toilet should be "heavier"
(7) greet the bride
After the bride's husband comes home, the bridesmaid helps the bride sit in the new house, which is called "going out of the house". When visiting the church, polite students called for a ceremony to read the scriptures, commonly known as "watching the ceremony in the temple". The bride and groom kowtow to their ancestors, bow to Weng Gu's adult and relatives of their elders, and then both husband and wife pay homage. Finally, we have to meet relatives, friends and other elders in turn according to their seniority, which is also commonly known as the "meeting ceremony." The meeting ceremony is called "meeting ceremony". When entering the bridal chamber, a pair of candle-guiding boys first hold double happiness red candles, and the bride and groom walk side by side on the red carpet into the bridal chamber. Avoid the bride stepping on the threshold, for example, stepping on the threshold of a room is pressing her family, and stepping on the threshold of a new house is pressing her husband. When they entered the new house, they both sat on their gums and drank a glass of sugar water to show their love, just like sugar water. At this time, someone praised the bed. The eulogy was: "I was busy and walked into the new house. I was old and was invited to praise the bed." The new house is well furnished, with gold chairs on both sides, ivory beds in the middle, a pair of good mandarin ducks, a pair of mandarin ducks, ivory beds, early birth of your son, five good boys and a pair of good girls. Forever and ever, the same. "
(8) Entertain guests
Honoring a seat is a job that cannot be ignored in a wedding. Influenced by the concept of seniority for thousands of years, especially relatives with high status pay great attention to the position of their seats. If you don't do it well, it may lead to a bad ending, even discord between relatives. Setting a table in the new house is a reunion dinner. The bride and groom sat opposite each other, accompanied by their friends. The bride and groom each take a drumstick and then exchange bites to show mutual respect and love. The banquet in the hall is divided into two rows, the right side of the door is the largest, followed by the left side. The first seat is divided into one, three, two and four seats, one on the right is the woman's high relative, and the third on the right is the mother's long companion; The second on the left is Yue Lao (matchmaker), and the fourth on the left is people's companion. During the dinner, the elders of the groom took the bride and groom to salute each other and attached cigarettes, candy and other food. After the salute, the elders said, "The house is narrow, the hospitality is not good, and there are many relatives and friends." The banquet rules of Gao Qin are strict, the table should be square and stable, and it can't be wasted as a mat. Straw sandals are insinuating that Gao Qin eats straw mats and tiles, not hitting his in-laws. The chopsticks in front of Gaoqin should be placed neatly, and there should be no gaps in the bowl, otherwise it is disrespectful to Gaoqin. At this time, Gao Qin did not sit down and even left angrily.
(9) Disturbing new houses
The new house is full of variety and excitement. Some of them sing sit-in shows without make-up, played by bands, sang love and marriage costume dramas such as "Liu Hai Chops firewood", "Seven Sisters Descent" and "Pregnant in October", and ate sweets. In addition, some bad habits, such as calling the groom's parents to the new house, "wearing clothes, hats, shoes, blowing fire pipes, painting with makeup and red", are beginning to disappear now.
(10) Huimen
The first day after marriage is "Back to Mother's Day". The groom will buy clothes, candy, fish, meat and other gifts to accompany the bride back to her mother's house. Gao Qin also went home with him. When the bride came home, the bride's family was going to hold a door-to-door wine, and the groom sat first. This was the time when the Yue family respected the groom the most in their lives.
(1 1) Meeting relatives
It is an effective way for relatives of both men and women to fully understand each other, which means it is good for future communication. Both men and women hold weddings.
(12) full moon tea
On the first day after getting married for one month, the woman's house prepared a broom and a catty of tea (the broom represents the bride's diligence and love for hygiene, and a catty of tea represents the bride's hospitality), and gifts such as candy and fish were sent to the man's house, and the man's house asked for a "basket", commonly known as "return gift".
With the continuous development of society and the continuous improvement of people's scientific and cultural level, the marriage custom in China has gradually evolved into a new custom of simplifying marriage, and a new social atmosphere is taking shape. However, it is undeniable that in the vast rural areas, especially in remote minority areas, some old marriage customs, especially some feudal superstitions, are still preserved. With the continuous development of society, new marriage customs will bloom as frequently as bright flowers.