Stupid, artificial respiration, should put her flat on the ground, go away and let me do it. "
One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted, you and him
Mom has never seen a naked man! The female driver is also angry: I see where the fuck you pay.
Who is the most pitiful person in the world? A: Artillery company cookhouse squad soldiers! Q: Why? Answer: Come back with a green hat.
Take responsibility for watching others have sex.
A pair of flies and their mother are eating. The son frowned and asked his mother, "Mom, why do we eat shit every day?"
Huh? "Mom said," don't say such disgusting things when you eat. Eat while it's hot! "
Dongbagou is very poor: dressing basically depends on spinning; Eating basically depends on the party; Getting rich basically depends on grabbing; Marrying a daughter-in-law basically depends on thought. western
Bagou is poorer: communication basically depends on yelling; Traffic basically depends on walking; Public security basically depends on dogs; Sex life basically depends on hands.
Employee: Boss, I want to take a day off today.
Boss: Do you want to take a day off?
Employee: Yeah.
Boss: What else do you want from the company? There are 365 days and 52 weeks in a year. You have two days off every week, a total of 104 days. You still have 26 1 day to work, right?
Employee: Yeah.
Boss: You get off work every day 16 hours. If you subtract 174 days, there are still 87 days, right?
Employee: Yeah.
Boss: You spend at least 30 minutes surfing the Internet every day, which adds up to 23 days a year, leaving 64 days, right?
Employees: ..........
Boss: There are 64 days left; You spend 1 hour, 46 days, 18 days at lunch every day, right?
Employees:
Boss: Usually you take two sick days a year, so your working hours are only 16 days.
Employee: speechless
Boss: The company is closed for five holidays every year. You only work 1 1 day.
Employees: ...........
Boss: Every year, the company generously gives you 10 days holiday, so you will work 1 day.
Employees:
Boss: Do you want to take a day off?
Employee: I was wrong. Ha ha! Those who have seen it, please turn around and let your friends smile.
A Chinese teacher read a poem entitled "Sleeping in Spring" by Lu You and asked the students to dictate. The Chinese teacher read aloud as follows, and a student dictated as follows.
Wo Chun (I am stupid)
Wumei smells flowers (I have no education), lying on branches hurts the bottom (I have a low IQ), lying in water (ask me who I am), Yida Chunlv (big donkey), Anqing (I am a donkey), Anqing (I am a donkey), Anqing (I am a stupid donkey)!
The doctor in the mental hospital wants to talk to a mental patient who is about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patient has fully recovered.
Reply.
Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?
Patient: smash all the windows in your hospital with stones.
When the doctor heard about it, he found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. After a few months, the doctor felt that the patient seemed to be able to leave the hospital and decided to talk to him again.
Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?
Patient: Get a job.
Doctor: Then what?
Patient: Making money.
Doctor: Then what?
Patient: Save money.
Doctor: Then what?
Patient: Marry a wife.
Doctor: Then what?
Patient: The bridal chamber.
Doctor: Then what?
Patient: Take off her clothes.
Doctor: Then what?
Patient: Take off her pants.
Doctor: Then what?
Patient: Take off her underwear.
Doctor: Then what?
Patient: Take out the rubber band in your underwear, make a slingshot and find some stones to smash all the windows in your hospital.
When the human body was first formed, all organs wanted to take the lead.
The brain said: I should be the leader, because I am responsible for all kinds of nerve reactions and functions of the whole body.
Feet said: We should be leaders, and we travel all over the world with our bodies and brains.
Hand said: we should be leaders, because we do all the work to make money. The argument continues.
Heart, lungs, eyes and other organs have spoken for leadership.
Finally, the bastard stood up and said he wanted to be the boss, too.
Everyone laughed at his request. How can an asshole be the boss?
So, asshole started to strike.
He refused to work and shut himself off.
Soon, every organ of the body felt the injury of the asshole strike. Eyes began to straighten, hands and.
My feet are shaking, my brain is getting hot, and my heart and lungs are not working properly.
Finally, everyone reconvened and agreed that the bastard should be the leader. So, everything is back to normal.
Often.
When organs are busy with their work, their heads just sit there and look out from time to time.
Spray dung.
This story tells us that the brain is not always in charge, and most leaders are just assholes. ......
The devil and the princess
One day, the devil took the princess away and she kept screaming.
Devil: "Just scream ... no one will come to save you ..."
Princess: "Broken throat ... broken throat ..."
No one: "Princess ... I'm coming to save you ..."
Devil: "Speak of the devil and he will come ..."
Cao Cao: "Devil .. Why did you call me ..."
Demon: "Wow ... seeing a ghost"
Ghost: "Shit! Was discovered .. "
Shit: "Ghost, can you see me ..."
Devil: "Oh, my God! 」
God: "Who called me? 」
Who: "Nobody called you ..."
Nobody said, "Where am I? Play dumb! 」
Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me? 」
Who: "It's me again? Are you looking for trouble? 」
Trouble: "which one is looking for me?" 」
Which one: "Looking for you? I didn't ... Gee, there are so many people here. 」
Many people: "I just arrived … who are you?" ? 」
Which one: "I'm not who. 」
Who: "He's not me. 」
Princess: "Is everyone here to save me? 」
Everyone: "I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun." 」
Lively: "What do I have to see? 」
God: "It's none of my business. I'll go first. " 」
Devil: "You answer a question before you go. Why do so many people save the princess? " ? I am a demon.
How did Wang play? 」
Go down: "You good devil won't do it, what shall I do?" 」
Princess: "if no one hits the devil, I can go." 」
No one: "If I play the devil, how can I let you go ..."
How come: "I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the excitement." 」
Lively: "What are you looking at me for? 」
What: "You want to fuck me? Rogue! 」
How dare you: "I didn't? 」
Me: "What does it have to do with me?" 」
Devil: "Shit! I'm going crazy. 」
Shit: "What am I doing? ...」
Madman: "What do you want me to do? 」
You want me to say, "I don't know anything! 」
I don't know anything: "I don't know! 」
I don't know: "I'm here! Is someone calling me? 」
Someone said, "I didn't call you! 」
I didn't say, "Who called him? 」
Who: "Wrong ... I didn't ..."
I didn't say, "I haven't wronged you ..."
You: "I dare you. 」
I dare you: "Who says I dare not! ? 」
Who: "please ... I didn't say anything."
I have nothing: "What do you want me to say? 」
I am nothing: "... you ... aren't you my long-lost brother?" ”」
My long-lost brother: "Kao ... my name is very long ... and I will be called."
Ah ... "
Who: "... I want to leave this troublesome place. "
True or false: "So this is my place ..."
I am nothing &; No: "Stop arguing, we are talking ..."
Don't bother us: "I won't talk ..."
I didn't: "I didn't speak! ...」
I am nothing: "-_-\ \" ... Let's go out and talk ... "
Go: "I'm sorry ... (wriggle)"
I have nothing: "It's none of your business ... Go away ..." (Two brothers go out angrily)
It's none of your business: "Whoops ... why did you kick me out ..."
Why: "I don't want to kick you out ... listen ... don't cry."
I didn't say, "Oh ... What does it have to do with me?"
None of my business: "What? Did anyone call me? 」
Someone said, "Who wants to call you ..."
Who: "I really have to go ... T.T." "
Go: "I'm really embarrassed ... * v.v *" (\ \" Who \ \ "collapsed)
None of your business: "... aren't you my cousin?" ”」
It's none of my business: "... cousins of the same age (or cousins) ... long time no see ..."
For a long time: "I'm not here ..."
Devil: "Are you finished? 」
Endless: "He doesn't have me."
You: "I don't have him."
I just said, "Who said that? 」
Who: "What do you want me to do? 」
Do you want to fuck me? 」
You: "I won't fuck him."
I said, "Who said I wouldn't? 」
Who: "Wrong! I didn't say ... "
He said, "What should I do? 」
? "You two are shameless! 」
You two: "I want it! I want it! 」
Face: "Who wants me? 」
Who: "I don't want it."
Devil: "Hurry up, or I'll kick people out."
Man: "Kick me out? Looking for k "
K: "Who wants to see me? 」
Who: "aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name, mention me again! 」
He said, "Don't trust me."
Me: "Who wants me? 」
Who: "I finally caught one. Kill it. "
One: "Don't arrest me."
Me: "I've had enough, too. If anyone mentions my name again, I will never let you go! 」
Who said, "Look at my eighteen dragon palms! 」
Me: "Look at my nine yin bones and claws! 」
Eighteen palms of dragon descending: "What am I to see? 」
Jiuyin Bones Claw: "What am I to see? 」
What's there to see: "Brother, I finally found you! 」
What is there to see? "Brother, let's go out and talk. 」
Devil: "Shit ... this is an engagement meeting ..."
One day, Cao Cao and Liu Bei were drinking to discuss heroes. After a few drinks, Liu Bei suddenly farted, which was embarrassing. When I was embarrassed, I heard Guan Yu behind me calmly say, "Don't take offense, fart comes from feather (rain)!" "
As Guan Yu's voice dropped, Zhao Yun stepped forward and said, "Don't take it amiss, fart comes from the clouds!"
After Zhao Yungang finished, Zhang Fei went on to shout, "Where did the fart come from just now!"
Everyone burst into laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.
Cao Cao didn't laugh. He is deeply touched by this. After seeing Liu Bei and others off, Cao Cao said to his subordinates, "When Liu Bei's subordinates saw the master's mistakes, they rushed to take responsibility and make up for them. It's really loyal. If it is your turn, can you do it? "
Everyone was indignant and thought, "It's nothing, what's difficult!"
A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again. During the dinner, he wanted to fart and see how his men reacted. After holding back for a long time, I finally managed to hold back a small Pi. Everyone has been waiting for a long time. When they heard a "goo", the general quickly shouted: "Chu (pig) put the fart!"
The waiter Wang Lang immediately said, "Lang (Wolf) farted!"
As soon as Cao Cao stared, others thought that Cao Cao was too slow and rushed to take care of himself. Xia Houdun insisted: "Fart comes from London!"
"no!" Huang Xu heard a retort, "I'm shaking my ass!"
Xun You said, "You let the fart out!"
Man Chong said, "Fart is a pet!"
Jiang Ji said: "Fart comes from the economy!"
Guo Tu said: "Fart is a picture (vomit)!"
Zhong Youdao: "Fart is coming!"
then ....
Taurus: "Fart is gold!"
Cao Hong: "Fart is red!"
Zhang Nan: "Fart is south (blue)!" ...........
Cao Cao was already flushed and was about to get angry.
Counselor Guo Jia shouted, "None of them are right, none of them are right! Everyone is wrong! " ..... deserves to be my number one strategist. Cao Cao secretly thought.
Guo Jia went on to say: "The fart was released by Jia (clip)!"
Liu Bei and others have laughed stagger. ........
Cao Cao fainted with anger.
Every time a wife quarrels with her husband, she has to go to the toilet for half a day. This happened more often, so her husband asked her curiously, "What are you doing in the toilet?" It seems quite Japanese? "The wife said," brush the toilet! "The husband asked," Can I brush the toilet to get rid of the gas? "The wife said: I don't know, anyway, use your toothbrush every time."
One day, Cao Cao went to visit Jiang Gan. He held Jiang Gan's hand and said enthusiastically, Fuck, how is your mother? Jiang Gan fainted at once, and it took a long time to wake up. He grabbed Cao Cao by the collar excitedly and said, Fuck, how is your home? Cao Cao immediately vomited blood and died.
1. A woman took counterfeit money to buy breakfast. -The stall owner was annoyed and said solemnly: Elder sister, it's nothing if you give counterfeit money. At least this is a stamp. You really got the money!
2.-Even if you take ten thousand steps back, you can still draw ten dollars or five dollars, right? You also draw a set of seven!
3.- Consider it seven dollars. Let's not talk about it. At least draw it in color, even with a pencil ~! -Forget it, I'll take it! Black and white is black and white!
4. You can't draw with toilet paper! It feels terrible. -Even toilet paper!
You have to trim the edges with scissors anyway. This one was torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated. -Well, I don't want to talk about burrs either.
6. But you can also tear a rectangle! This triangle is unreasonable!
One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " "
The teacher said angrily, "Good morning? What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? "
So the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher!"
The teacher said angrily, "What about my evening?"
The students shouted together again: "Good evening, teacher!" "
The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again! " "
The students shouted: "Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening!" "
The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. Start now. "
Teacher: "The weather is fine today."
Student: "The weather is terrible today."
Teacher: "There is sunshine everywhere."
Student: "There are clouds everywhere."
Teacher: "The road is crowded with people."
Student: "There is no one on the road."
Teacher: "Young."
Student: "Old."
Teacher: "Stand."
Student: "Lie down"
Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."
Student: "There is an old man lying on the road."
Teacher: "I found a dollar."
Student: "I lost a dollar."
Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."
Student: "I stole a teacher and lost a dollar."
Teacher: "No, you can't say that!" " "
Student: "Correct, you should say so!" " "
Teacher: "Wrong."
Student: "Correct."
Teacher: "that won't do, it's illegal!" " "
Student: "This is ok, this is a legal act!" " "
Teacher: "I was wrong."
Student: "We are right."
Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is right!" " "
Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!" " "
Teacher: "You are so stupid."
Student: "We are very smart."
Teacher: "Stop!"
Student: "Go on!"
Teacher: "You stop now! Stop it! "
Student: "Go on now! Say it! "
Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" " "
Student: "We are all geniuses, we say go on!" " "
Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" " "
Student: "The teacher listens to us!" " "
Teacher: "all students have to listen to the teacher!" " "
Student: "The teacher should listen to the students!" " "
Teacher: "now you stop practicing!" " "
Student: "Now let's continue to practice!" "
Teacher: "Are you endless?"
Student: "We finish what we started!" "
Teacher: "Then stop! Stupid pig! "
Student: "Then we should continue! Genius! "
..... Then the teacher walked out of the classroom angrily with a book in his arms.
Once upon a time there was a man named Shuang. -
He is dead. -
On the day of the funeral. -
His family cried:'-
Cool ... cool. -
Passers-by are puzzled. Asked, "What do you like?" -
The family cried:' Great ... awesome! ! -
-
2.- Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three gold medals in my name? -
Dad: You are short of gold in your life, so you are named Xin, just like some people are short of water, so they are named Miao, and some people are short of wood, so they are named Sen.
Xiao Xin: Dad, what do you think is missing from Sister Guo Jingjing's life? -
-
3.
A boyfriend and girlfriend were sitting on a park bench in love, and the woman suddenly wanted to fart. -
Say to the man: I am a cereal bird, do you listen to it? -
Men are willing to listen -
So, under the cover of "goo goo" birdsong, the woman happily farted. -
W: Does it sound like a cuckoo? -
Man: What a fart! I didn't catch it! -
-
One day, an elephant was taking a bath. Suddenly an ant came up to the elephant and said. You stand up. Stand up at the beginning. Ants! You sit down. The elephant asks the ant what you want to do. Stand for a while, sit for a while. Ants answer! I lost my underwear. Let me see if you stole it-
The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and their nesting ants climbed on the elephant. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another elephant around its neck, and the fallen ant shouted "strangle it". -
6. One morning in computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed, and our platoon was all dead." At this time, many students said, "We are dead, too." Then the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up and said, "I'm not dead yet!" " "The teacher said strangely," the whole class is dead. Why don't you die? " -
7. Before eating peanuts, monkeys should put peanuts in their buttocks before taking them out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey is afraid. You must measure it before eating now. -
-
8. Xiaoming: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" -
Dad: "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy ..."-
-
9. Tell a story: "Once upon a time, there was a eunuch"-
Someone can't help asking, "What's next?" -
Continue to tell the story: "Below? It's gone ... "-
10. A person who just learned a foreign language was walking in the street that day and accidentally stepped on a foreigner's foot. The man quickly said, "I'm sorry." The foreigner also said politely, "I'm sorry, too." Hearing this, the man quickly said, "I'm sorry, three." Foreigners have become stupid. The man said helplessly, "I'm sorry." -
1 1.-
A letter from the Tang Priest to the Monkey King-
-
Dear Wukong:-
I write this letter slowly, because I know you can't read fast! -
It rained twice this week, the first time for 4 days, and the second time for 3 days! -
Did you have a good time in Huaguoshan? I had a terrible time in heaven. Because there is no gravity, my stool, urine, tears and nose can't fall off. Do you feel bitter? -
Our beef noodles here are delicious. Let's go to the restaurant in West Street for hot pot when you come another day! -
Your Guanyin sister is going to have a baby, so I don't know whether you want to be an uncle or an aunt for the time being, because I don't know whether it will be a boy or a girl! -
Did you receive the clothes I sent you? I was afraid of being overweight when I was ready to post it, so I cut the button and put it in my pocket! -
It's very late to write here. Come and play with me sometime. Remember not to drink more water, or it will be very uncomfortable if you can't pee here! -
P.S. wants to send you money, but the envelope is stuck! -
-
12.-
A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, eat cucumber and pull watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit. -
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13-
Someone went to Shanghai on business and lost a dollar in the street. The policeman said, "We will definitely help you find it." When the man went back in January, the street where he lost his money was dug up to build roads, and he couldn't help but sigh, "Shanghai is the real thing"-
14.-
Classic joke: One day, an ant was sunbathing when he suddenly saw an elephant coming slowly. It got up and straightened its front legs. The rabbit next to you is busy asking what you are doing. The ant said, "Shh ~ ~ ~ ~ Keep your voice down and watch me kick him"—
-
15.-
The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two to play badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! " Father Earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football-
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16.-
A race between the tortoise and the hare ... The hare quickly ran to the front ... The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come on, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail climbed up ... Soon ... The tortoise saw an ant again ... and said to him: Come up, too ... So the ant came up. When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and greeted him. Do you know what the snail said? Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ...
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17.-
One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside. Mother nervously shouted outside the house: "Son ... what are you doing ... you won't come out after the fire ..." The son replied: "I'm wearing socks ..." The mother said: "What socks are you wearing after the fire ..." Five minutes later, the son hasn't come out ... The mother shouted nervously again: "Son! Come out ~ There's a fire, and you're still inside ... "The son said," I'm taking off my socks. ...
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18.-
A man went fishing by the river, wearing a leaf first ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, so he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ no choice but to change earthworms ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ ~ He was angry ~ He took out 100rmb and fell into the water and cursed, "*-# What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself! ! ! -
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19.-
& gt My deskmate has a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring his handkerchief, so he has been sniffing. The Chinese teacher suddenly turned around and shouted, "That's enough! Stop it! Too noisy! " The whole class was silent. The teacher is > He said, "Who steals noodles in class and makes so much noise?" " -
20.-
The patient said to the dentist, "You really make money. It only took you three seconds to earn $3. " -
-
The doctor replied, "If you like, I can pull it out in slow motion." -
2 1.-
"Narcissism" means that you must be reborn as a woman in your next life and then marry a man like me; "Despair" means that the restaurant ordered two dishes and ate the first one: "Is there anything worse in the world? ! "Eat the second" shit! There really is! " "Silence" means that the judge asks: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The criminal said, I can't print real money-
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22.-
The Weaver Girl met Cowherd while taking a bath down the mountain, and interpreted an earth-shattering love story. This tells us that there is no chance to take a bath at home, so she must go outside to take a bath. ...
-
23.-
Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher, "There are many ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming. "What did ants say?" Xiao Ming looked blank ... and then said, "The ant didn't say anything ..."-
-
24.-
A person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say, "Can you be quiet?" Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him strangely what he was doing, and he replied, "I didn't make any noise, but now it's tuned to vibration!" " ! ! " -
-
25.-
Mother Mosquito: "What's the matter with you, son?" The little mosquito cried and said, "Today, the little fly bullied me and called me a bloodthirsty vampire." The mother mosquito said, "Ignore it, their home is not a good thing either. They all grew up eating shit-
-
26.-
I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou pottery jar. Yesterday, it went to the appraisal column, and the expert said seriously, "Which Western Zhou did this belong to?" This is from last week! -
-
27.-
Son: "Mom, I failed the math exam today." Mother: "Why, what's the problem?" Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3=? I said =6. " Mother: "That's right, and then what?" Son: "The teacher asked me 3*2=?" Mother: "Isn't this the same?" Son: "That's what I said ..."
-
28.-
A prisoner was shot. Bullets are produced in a county with poor quality. The first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired ... the third shot ... at this time, the prisoner cried, "You strangle me, it's so scary!" -
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29.-
The father told his son a story: "Uncle told Xiaoyang to cut wood. Unexpectedly, Xiaoyang cut down his uncle's favorite peach tree. Uncle was angry but didn't scold him. Do you know why? " The son replied, "Maybe Xiao Yang still has an axe in his hand, so he dare not scold him."
-
30.-
Dung beetles and mosquitoes meet for the first time. Dung beetles: "What do you do?" Mosquito: "Nurse, give an injection" dung beetles grabbed mosquito's hand and cried bitterly: "Fate, I am also a doctor, a Chinese medicine practitioner, and I pinch pills-
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3 1.-
A man always can't find a girlfriend, but he goes to tell his fortune. The fortune teller said: you are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life; Not that person's eyes lit up: then I should have it all my life? The fortune teller said, well, you'll get used to living alone for the rest of your life-
-
37.-
When someone was eating, he couldn't see a piece of beef in the beef Lamian Noodles, so he pointed to the bowl and asked the boss: Why is there no beef in Lamian Noodles? The boss said flatly, don't take it too seriously. You still expect a wife who eats old woman's cake? -
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38.-
Three mice tasted American, Japanese and China wines respectively, and the mouse who drank American wine fell down after three steps. The mouse who drank Japanese wine fell down after two steps; The mouse drinking China Erguotou, with a kitchen knife in his hand, shouted, "Where's the fucking cat?" -
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39.-
While eating in a restaurant, a customer who had been waiting for a long time called the waiter and asked, "Why isn't the braised fish I ordered ready yet?" "Just a moment, sir." "What? What are you waiting for? " The customer was very angry and said, "Is your fish fresh?" -
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40.-
One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Cow scolds: What a donkey, male left and female right! -
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4 1.-
A man was about to jump off a building when his wife, who had just returned, shouted, "Honey, take it easy, we still have a long way to go!" " Hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation. The negotiator standing by said, "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this-
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42.-
The director and the section chief share the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, "You farted." The section chief said, "I didn't fart." Soon, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting, "You can't afford to fart. What do you need? " -
43.-
A lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: "Dear, why are you so kind to me?" The cat smiled and said, "You'll know when you get fat-
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44.-
Every time I look in the mirror, I always encourage myself mentally: "I am very creative." Ugliness is not my intention. God, don't lose your temper. I will live bravely and use my endless creativity to set off the beauty of this world! " Actually, I'm really, really creative. ...
-
45.-
Friends went climbing together. When they reached the top of the mountain, a girl shouted to the beautiful mountains and rivers: Motherland! My mother! A boy who secretly loves her quickly shouted: motherland! My mother-in-law-
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46.-
I bought two puppies before, one named you "face" and the other named myself "ass"! It's not two days since Face died in a car accident. Every time I see your ass, I think of your face! If your face were still there, it would be as big as your ass now! -
47.-
After Tang Zeng drove Wukong away, he met the monster again. He had to recite a spell to call Wukong back for help. Soon a voice came from the air: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is out of service, please redial later."
48.-
The mouse went to the toilet. When he saw the bear, he was too scared to speak. The bear looked at the mouse and said, "Can't you shed your hair?" The mouse shivered and said nothing. The bear asked again, "Can't you depilate?" The mouse trembled and said, "No …" The bear grabbed the mouse and wiped his ass and left! [Use mice as toilet paper. ...
49.-
I just chatted with my friends, and some of them talked about you, you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was really too much! I didn't treat you like a pig at all! -
50.-
On panda's birthday, I said: I made two wishes, one is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to get a color photo-
5 1.-
Bees chase butterflies, but butterflies marry snails. The bee doesn't understand: where is he better than me? Butterfly replied: people at least have their own house, unlike you who live in a dormitory-