First, what should I do and how to solve the quarrel between husband and wife:
1. Don't take it seriously when the other person is angry with you. What people say when they are angry is not credible, which is the most ruthless side of people. You can calm down first and listen to each other carefully. Then, whether I blame you or not, I must admit that what he said is wrong.
No matter how fierce the quarrel is, always remember that the other person is your favorite person, and never say the word "break up". Speaking out is torturing each other and giving yourself a hard time. Because many couples are angry and just regret breaking up.
No matter how bad you are, you must smile when you see your lover. Otherwise, when he/she thinks you are in a bad mood, he/she will definitely wonder if he/she has done something wrong. Then their good mood will also get worse.
4. After quarreling with each other, no matter how fierce it was just now, you should apologize to each other. If the other person refuses, apologize until the other person forgives you. In fact, many couples will wait anxiously to apologize to themselves after quarreling. In this case, why not put down your self-willed shelf, say yes to him/her in advance and make up as soon as possible! It is worth mentioning that some couples have refused to talk to each other for their own face after quarreling, and then they feel uncomfortable and make the other person feel uncomfortable. Some people even broke up because of it.
Don't always doubt him/her. It is understandable that some people always doubt whether the other party has betrayed them. However, don't always doubt each other. Otherwise, it is really a distrust of him (her). By the way, if you don't want to quarrel, don't make him/her jealous. It is his/her fault that the other person suspects you. If you make him/her jealous, it's your fault. Therefore, after you have a wife (male), don't associate with friends of the opposite sex, otherwise, as long as you are an individual, you will be jealous. If you used to have a very good relationship with a boy or a girl, but when others find a lover, don't associate with them again, otherwise someone will call you "shameless" sooner or later.
6. No matter how good or bad your temper is, you should be good-tempered in front of lovers. Although many people know why, it is really difficult to do this. There's nothing wrong with changing your temper for your lover. Not just men, of course. Girls have a bad temper and should be changed. Because of your bad temper, you will suffer sooner or later. Some girls are actually happy because of their bad temper. They think they can often let their boyfriends fool them. However, how many boys in the world like to coax their girlfriends? They coax you to let you go because they love you. If you keep doing this, your boyfriend is likely to have an affair.
7. It is common for both sides to quarrel, and one side leaves angrily. The left thinks it is wrong for the left to ignore itself. The one who left may be out of anger, and some may temporarily avoid it in order to prevent the other party from getting angry. It was useless to explain anything at that time. This is also a good way for one party to avoid contradictions. The party who really goes out will reflect, worry and miss each other after calm. If the people who left come back to say nice things to you, and you are still angry, it's your fault. Because the other person won't leave until he is angry.
8. If you often think that your personalities are incompatible, you are wrong. In fact, there are no two people with incompatible personalities, only two people with good mentality. I remember my middle school teacher said that when two people quarrel, both sides are responsible. No matter who they blame, just because they lose their temper means that they are all wrong.
Second, what about the cold war after the husband and wife quarrel:
1, which must be dealt with in time during the cold war.
The cold war caused by quarrel must be dealt with in time. If you put it off, it will easily affect your next life. After a long time, the cold war will develop into an inertia cold war. Will it always be like this if the other party doesn't bow down and accommodate? After one side is completely disappointed with the other, the inertia cold war will develop into cold violence, which will be difficult to deal with then.
Don't insult each other at will during the cold war.
During the cold war, avoid emotional intensification, talk less, and it is best not to talk, so as not to hurt people. During this period, both of them are very sensitive, and once the bad words are exchanged, it is easy to go wrong.
3. One of them should put down his attitude to accommodate.
After all, marriage means that two people live together after seeing each other right. If both sides refuse to put down their postures for each other, then why live together? Therefore, if there is a cold war in a quarrel, it is not always possible for a particular party to put down its posture and accommodate. Must take turns, whether right or wrong. After all, after accommodating, two people will naturally know who is right and who is wrong after returning to rationality.
When you give in to the opposite direction, give way to the steps.
During the cold war, not everyone was willing to take the initiative to put down their posture and accommodate you. If the other person gives in to you, then you must give the other person a step. You can't think you are important. Don't give each other a step, you just have to divide you into winners and losers. But you know, the other side can also choose to continue the cold war, right? Therefore, if someone gives in to you, your attitude must be in a state of reconciliation, so that everyone can be happy.
Don't threaten each other with the cold war.
Many people were leaders of the cold war. Some of them are very independent when they are young, and their family education methods are also very independent. Therefore, most men are used to using the cold war to force their wives to compromise. The wife reconciled after compromise, and when they quarreled again, they used the cold war again to achieve their goal. Therefore, men should be careful not to use the cold war as a bargaining chip to threaten each other, and so should women.
6. Think about solving problems.
When you encounter a problem or dispute, you must find the cause of the problem or dispute. Without finding the reason, the cold war is invalid. The cold war cannot replace the process of solving problems, and the cold war will miss the best opportunity to solve problems. After the cold war, it may be too late. Therefore, the cold war is not the solution to the problem. Find the root cause and solve the problem. Maybe you don't know the cold war at all.
7. Create opportunities for him to accommodate you and sympathize with you.
If you can't talk in a quarrel, you will naturally think that the cold war is about to start, and you will try your best to accommodate it, but you can't erase your face. At this time, you usually create some opportunities for him to get close to me, such as accidentally cutting vegetables and needing to stick a band-aid; For example, I accidentally cut my hand on the paper of a new book; The last resort is to let him dry his hair or something. They are all very effective, so you might as well have a try.
8. Both husband and wife should do more self-criticism.
There are contradictions between husband and wife, no matter who is right or wrong, you can't blame them at will, which will add fuel to the fire. Instead, we should do more self-criticism and find out our own mistakes, which will help ease the tense relationship.
9. Find a place where two people often date and have a good talk.
In this familiar environment, the couple are more able to open their hearts and tell stories of conflict. It's much better just to talk and not practice.
Third, how to reconcile and ease the quarrel between husband and wife:
1. Quarrel is a question of "angle", not "right or wrong".
The main reason why couples quarrel is that they think there must be only one answer. The basic mentality of the quarreler is "I am definitely right about this matter, and my other half is definitely wrong." The problem is that when two people think so, arguments will emerge one after another. In fact, family disputes, marital disputes, etc. There is often no fixed answer. It's purely a question of angle, not right or wrong. People who "can quarrel" try to understand each other's true meaning or compare their differences in the process of arguing. People who "can't quarrel" try their best to refute each other during the dispute. As long as you prove that you are "right", you will both lose.
The quarrel between husband and wife should be "emotional" rather than "rational".
Generally, quarrels are characterized by arguments, so try to catch the other party's speech defects, find out the other party's logical defects, and concentrate on fire attacks, so that the other party has no room to parry. The problem is that the process of "arguing" often leads to "injury", and the victory of the argument often makes the other party feel nothing about you. Dealing with disputes between husband and wife with "friendship" is far more constructive than arguing with analysis.
Tell the truth, don't embellish it.
There must be a reason for the quarrel. People who "will" quarrel will focus on describing things in the process of quarreling and let the other party know their situation and needs; People who can't quarrel like to exaggerate their anger, so they often use the most extreme adjectives to irritate each other.
No matter right or wrong, the person who gives up first is brave.
Since quarreling is a conflict caused by different angles, mature people will try to avoid it. The best way to avoid quarreling is to admit that the other person's opinion may be better than yours. This kind of reaction needs people with enough self-confidence and maturity to make, but it is worth learning. Giving in to your spouse is definitely not a loss, but a gain. When your spouse hears the other side give in first, never say, "I told you I was wrong, and now I admit it!" " "On the contrary, you should give your spouse more encouragement and respect, so that your spouse will be more willing to give in first when quarreling next time.