0205— If a nuclear war breaks out, which two places do you think will be overcrowded? Answer: earth monkeys and heaven
0206— What wastes one third of a person's life? Answer: bed
0207— What horse can't run? Answer: Trojan horse
0208— Who is that nosy guy who walks around the street all day? Answer: traffic police
0209— Why are more and more people getting divorced? Answer: Because more and more people are getting married.
02 10— If you don't have rabies, what's the first thing you should do? Answer: Make a list of enemies.
0211-Why do some people say that the fairest thing in the world is "conscience"? Answer: Have you ever said that someone said that they have no conscience?
02 12— Do you know how long a person's calf should be? Answer: It should be long enough to touch the ground.
02 13— You have a ship with 15 crew, 60 passengers and 300 tons of cargo. Can you work out the age of the shipowner according to the above tips? Answer: Do you still need to calculate the age of the shipowner?
02 14— Xiao Wang rented a house in the urban area. The lease says that if he accidentally causes a fire and burns the house down, he must pay 3 million yuan. Xiao Wang not only didn't object, but even took the initiative to fill in an extra zero. Why? Answer: I can't afford it anyway.
02 15— You haven't spoken for a year and a half. What have you been doing these days? Answer: I was born crying.
02 16- There is an activity that can accurately tell you that beauty is not born, but expressed in various ways. What kind of activity is this? Answer: beauty pageant
0217 —— How to distinguish the southeast from the northwest? Answer: Very simple. Garton
02 18— under what circumstances, someone pushes in front of the car and then pulls, but the car will still move forward? Answer: When going downhill.
02 19— There are three children guessing, one is scissors, the other is stone, and the other is cloth. How many fingers do these three people have? Answer: sixty
0220— I often take my dog for a morning run, which makes me and him sweat profusely. Why? Answer: Have you ever seen a dog sweating?
0221-Jingjing broke the high jump record at once. How did she do it? Answer: She walked under the telephone pole.
0222— What can't you see when you hold your nose? Answer: Of course it's you. 1. Our friendship is full of rich meaning to me. I cry when you cry, and I laugh when you laugh. When you jump off a tall building, I will stick my head out without hesitation and say, "Mom, it's strange that you can't die that high!" "
2.a goes to B's house every day. B's dog always barks at A several times at first, and then it stops barking at all.
A: "Your dog is really sensible and recognizes people so quickly."
B: "I haven't introduced you to him, mainly because you come here too often, and the dog doesn't care about you."
3. Missing will not be in arrears, caring will not stop, caring will not be laid off, blessing will not rest, companionship will not retire, and love will not lack you.
Meeting you is my destiny, really. Diaosi is your mask to confuse all beings, and your loneliness makes you mysterious. I watched you coming to me, and then I heard your affectionate cry: Want money or die?
5. Once upon a time, there was a bachelor. I heard that as long as you dress yourself with beautiful feathers, you can attract the attention of the opposite sex. That's it. From then on, people will praise it when they see it: what a big duster.
6. See if you are good or not. You pay for my meals, and you pay for my consumption. You can't live without me. This month, I saw that you were obviously skinny, and I was very sad. My wallet, can you drum it up a little more? !
7, thinking about your passion, watching you eager to wear, kissing your face, burning your desire, loving you to shine, pulling you sparse! You make me love and hate, my favorite pepper! Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their mouths at the back to keep out the wind.
One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road.
Here comes the police:
Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.
Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back.
Policeman A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.
Policeman B: OK ... One, two, one, two, it's back.
Policeman A: Huh? I'm not breathing. .......
When I woke up in the morning, there was a mosquito lying beside my pillow, and there was a suicide note beside me, which read: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. You are so cheeky that I have no face to live in this world! Lord ~ forgive him! I killed myself.
Girlfriend: "Charging before love, love begins to discharge, love is dark, power is supplied, love is exhausted ..."
Boyfriend: "I love going to restaurants often."
Watch people dancing in the ballroom.
Boyfriend: "It's a strange world. That ugly and stupid man has a beautiful wife. "
Girlfriend: "You are really flattering."
Girlfriend: "Do you love me?"
Boyfriend: "It hurts! Just a headache ... "
I was so angry that my girlfriend punched him.
Boyfriend: "That toothache is gone ..."
In the afternoon, in a coma:
Girlfriend: "Is it a little short for you to cover this quilt?"
Boyfriend: "well, it's a little short to be with you all my life!" "
Boyfriend and girlfriend quarrel.
Boyfriend: "If you really want to die, I won't stop you. Think about it. Which is more important, love or death? "
Girlfriend: "Death is of course important."
Boyfriend "Why?"
Girlfriend "Because you only die once, but you can love many times."
The wife cried in the mirror: "I'm getting fatter and fatter!" Getting old! More and more ugly! " Later, my wife spoiled her husband: "Husband, you praise me and coax me!" " "The husband thought for a moment and said," Well, wife, your eyesight is still very good! " "
-
There are many rumors about him, but no one in the Jianghu knows what he looks like. There is a lot of speculation about him, but no one knows what kind of effort he has. People close to him are addicted to it and lose everything. He is the "mysterious chicken" iPhone 5 released on time at midnight. Although he is far from perfect as iPhone 6, it is still worth looking forward to. Ready, money?
2. I was curious about grandma's toilet when I was a child. So I often ask my grandmother: How deep is this pit? Grandma always replied: deep. The more curious I am. Finally, one day, I found a bamboo pole and decided to try it myself. Insert the bamboo pole into the bottom of the pit. Just when I was excited, suddenly, bang, the bamboo pole broke! Then "plop", tragedy happened ... Curiosity really hurts people.
3. Watching TV, I saw Fang Zuming introduce Jackie Chan to discipline him severely and ask him to be frugal. He said: You can only use one piece of paper for urination and two pieces of paper for defecation ... I was shocked at that time! Rich people are really different. Do you wipe your urine with paper? ! ? ! I've been swinging for more than twenty years! Throw it away!
I called my parents last night and said that I would bring my beautiful girlfriend home to show the two old people today. As a result, my girlfriend suddenly went on a business trip this morning and went out of the province. I had to go home alone with my bag. I met my cousin on the way, so I went back to my house for dinner with her. Just as he entered the door, the old man flew over with a cup and shouted, "You beast!" " "Dad, let me explain. . . .
Why are you fat people going out? Don't you know that it's so crowded because you walk into the street? We skinny people never take up space! What about you fat people? One person accounts for two, three, four or even five people! Congestion everywhere, queuing everywhere, all caused by you! Aren't you ashamed? Shame on you, stay at home! What's the purpose of going to the streets? A: We, we fat people want to squeeze you to death when we go out on the eleventh.