No matter how you treat your work and family, you must learn to express your anger in different ways when others touch your bottom line. Especially in marriage, those women whose lives are getting harder and harder are always bullied by their husband's family because they are too good-tempered and can't keep the bottom line.
A good marital status is that from the day you and your husband get married and get a license, if their relationship is equal, then they will continue to pay equally. But if your posture is always in a humble state, then your future life is doomed to be humble.
Two States, living a completely different life. Therefore, women sometimes need a little temper in marriage to get attention.
Jingru (pseudonym) and her husband Wang Zhen (pseudonym) have been married for four years. She is a woman who is good at keeping a house. Her family conditions are average, and she is as quiet as a child. Seeing the hard work of parents, Jingru always feels sorry for them. Therefore, when she can work to support her family, she hopes to give her parents a better life.
Several of her best friends got married early, but Jingru had no time to fall in love. She has certain plans for the future. Only when her parents are settled can she solve her personal emotional problems.
Jingru didn't think about getting married until she was 30. She and her husband were introduced by colleagues. After meeting, both of them felt very talkative, so they soon got together.
Although Jingru is very competitive, she is still looking forward to her married life. Her parents can't provide her with better financial help, but she can get encouragement from her parents since childhood. They get along well, as if they seldom hear them quarrel.
Girls who grow up in love are always warm inside, which can be seen from Jing Ru. She respects her elders very much and is willing to help her friends.
However, after she married her husband, she did her best, but her mother-in-law always deliberately played tricks on her. In her mother-in-law's heart, Jingru is an outsider. The reason why I am kind to my mother-in-law is because Jingru didn't think too much at first. She thinks that all parents are as enthusiastic as hers. When getting along, even if her mother-in-law is critical of her in every way, Jingru will continue to be kind to her.
Jingru has a sister who is married, but because the two families are very close, she often goes home. In order to make her life better, her mother-in-law always squeezes her daughter-in-law to help her eldest sister.
My sister bought a house before and borrowed some money from relatives. This was originally a matter for elder sister-in-law, but her mother-in-law asked Jingru and her husband to help. When she married Wang Zhen, her mother-in-law gave her a bride price of 654.38+10,000 yuan, and Qian Jingru's parents returned her a penny.
However, only half a year after Jingru got married, her mother-in-law got back the bride price money and directly helped her sister pay back the money she borrowed to buy a house. Jingru is really angry about this, but her mother-in-law is tough and fights with Jingru every day.
At that time, they had just got married. Jingru just wants to be better than the two of them, and she doesn't want to waste her good time quarreling. She didn't want to embarrass her husband more, and finally gave in.
However, Jingru's compromise is not because she is weak, but for the sake of her marriage. My mother-in-law would never be so accommodating if she came again.
After a period of contact with her mother-in-law, Jingru also knew what kind of person she was and how to get along with her mother-in-law. She won't be as devoted as before. After all, the mother-in-law is not her own biological parents. Since you don't treat your daughter-in-law as your family, Jing Ru won't be too kind.
In later life, Jing Ru began to know how to stick to principles. Wang Zhen wants to be filial to his parents, and she won't object. However, when her mother-in-law unconditionally asks her for her hard-earned money, Jingru will directly refuse. She doesn't care what her mother-in-law will say about herself in front of others, because she knows that her mother-in-law is selfish, and no matter how well she does, she won't care about her feelings.
In this case, Jing Ru will not waste his time and feelings.
Then my sister's marriage went wrong. Her husband said that he couldn't stand her bad temper and wanted to divorce her and start a family with a younger girl. Sister-in-law is very grumpy and proud. She couldn't stand her husband's betrayal, so she divorced him soon.
My mother-in-law is particularly distressed to see that her sister is not married now. She let her sister move in without saying anything. When Jingru planned to marry her husband, she couldn't buy a house immediately because the down payment was not enough, but her mother-in-law didn't help at all, so they had to borrow money from friends. This home belongs to Jingru and her husband, and her mother-in-law has no right to agree to let her sister live in it.
But her mother-in-law didn't consider her feelings. When Jingru came back from work, her sister had already moved the luggage. When her mother-in-law saw it, she said, "Daughter-in-law, your sister is divorced and will live at home in the future. She is not easy now, so we need more help. "
Jingru and her elder sister-in-law are both women, and Jingru is also very sad about what happened to her. However, marriage is mutual support between husband and wife, not poverty alleviation. She has no reason to provide her sister with free housing. If you only stay for a month, Jingru will definitely agree, but the mother-in-law means to let her sister live at home for a long time, so the nature is completely different.
Jingru doesn't want to be bullied by her mother-in-law She responded firmly: "My sister can live at home after divorce, but on one condition, I need to pay back 5,000 mortgage every month now. It costs money to rent a house outside. It is better to live in my house, but I have to pay the rent of 1500. "
When her mother-in-law heard Jingru say that she wanted her sister to pay the rent, her face suddenly changed, and she also provoked her son to divorce her.
If Jing did not give in, but agreed to divorce her husband, the procedure could be done immediately. However, she explained in advance that after the divorce, not only her sister could not move in, but also her mother-in-law had to move out, because Qian Jingru, who had bought a house at the beginning, gave more, and she wanted to sell the house and get the money back.
Seeing Jingru's resolute attitude, her mother-in-law regretted it, but her sister had divorced and had no job, so she couldn't afford Jingru's rent at all. Finally, my mother-in-law can only let my sister go back to the old house without paying rent, and the pressure of life is less. Mother-in-law later moved back because she was worried that her eldest sister could not take care of herself.
Jing Ru lost his temper at the most critical time, but unexpectedly won more respect. My mother-in-law never bullied her again, and her life was more satisfactory than before.
There are some women around us. After marriage, they don't know how to fight back, even for the sake of family harmony, they will always be tolerant and meet each other's needs, which will only make their marriage life more difficult.
People's hearts are complicated. If you are kind to others, you may not get the same benefits. Especially in marriage, women must know how to defend their dignity and never entrust their fate to others. Don't be patient when you should lose your temper. You have the right to express your inner dissatisfaction.
There is too little vigorous love, and there is no perfect husband in this world. It is difficult for him to care about you wholeheartedly and take care of your feelings. Therefore, all dignity is still to be won by ourselves.
Marriage is difficult to manage. I hope you and I can both be women who dare to lose their temper. We don't want to run our relationship with arrogance and irrationality, but let the other side know where your bottom line is.