Malice is like a wave among these anchors. It sweeps away everything when it comes, and leaves no trace when it goes.

Intern Editor丨Chi Cheng

"When a person decides to become an anchor, he is already making psychological preparations." Psychologist Li Songwei told me.

Not long ago, Etika, a well-known American game anchor, left her backpack on the Brooklyn Bridge and jumped off it. He has been suffering from emotional illness for the past two years. His death caused an uproar, and people suspected that the tragedy was related to his profession.

He Senbao, the “most popular commentator of the National Expo” with more than 4 million fans on Weibo, also said that the probability that the bloggers around him who enjoy huge traffic will be in a good mood is “zero”. He believes that "the correlation between high traffic and bad mood is so strong" and attributes the problem to a kind of "mental overload" - when the small circle of past interpersonal communication is forcibly broken through by traffic, "people use it to deal with hundreds of people." The psychological hardware of relationships to face millions of people.”

This time, we want to focus on game anchors. Anchors always look their best in front of the camera, but what kind of life do they live behind the camera? What problems are you facing? How did they solve it?

My eldest cousin (yesyanbaby) was once attacked by a male anchor. At that time, she was angry and anxious, and she lost control of her emotions, "crying bitterly in front of the audience in the live broadcast room."

That was what happened when my eldest cousin first started live streaming on Douyu. At that time, live broadcast platforms were not standardized, and some anchors would attack other anchors for popularity. Later, she looked back and thought about it, "Actually, it was all the result of his show. I was just used as a cannonball."

She spoke of it in a relaxed tone. "At that time, I was quite resistant to going on the air. After all, that rhythm had followed me for a year or two." She said, "Later, I reported this problem to the platform, and the male anchor also apologized to me during the live broadcast... It has passed. It’s been a long time.”

“It’s only been two years.” I said.

"You may forget this kind of thing in a month. The 'rhythm' thing is very fast - if you don't forget it, the audience will also forget it." She said, "I remember that I really wanted to I gave up, but I can no longer mobilize that emotion. It’s hard for me to return to the mood I had at that time, and I can’t describe it in words.”

Many anchors will use “rhythm” to summarize them. Faced with malice. This word was first used to describe experienced players who led their teammates to attack. Now it is often used to refer to certain people who make inflammatory and controversial remarks, causing ignorant people to follow suit. In the anchor circle, of course, the spearhead of the attack is always directed at the fans. There are many anchors who have a certain voice and influence.

The eldest cousin feels that her current condition has been relatively stable. Occasionally when she was in a bad mood and saw bad comments, she would retaliate to vent, but she knew that this would not relieve her anger. "The problem will become more serious later, and he will keep arguing with you."

Fighting back will not help, and will often only make the malicious counterattack more violent. "So I know it's better not to do this." Rather than arguing, she cares more about whether she can present herself in front of the audience in a better way. "Practice your singing, practice your talents, and improve your game playing skills."

She is no longer the girl who would cry in front of everyone just because someone else "sets the rhythm". Her own mentality has long since calmed down. "If an anchor cannot face or resolve these things, he is not suitable for this profession."

"Is this the price that this profession must pay?" I asked.

"It can't be said to be a price. This is what you need to live with when working in this industry."

Xia Yike is 28 years old and works in "this industry" "It's been over 10 years.

Before becoming a host, she was a die-hard fan of Blizzard games. She produced a series of game commentary videos based on Blizzard games, and became famous in the circle for her personal style of interpretation. "The original 'capital accumulation' has been completed before, so the transition to being a host went smoothly."

In the ever-changing field of live broadcast platforms, countless people pour in every day, and countless people quit. Xia Yike's live broadcast career is relatively smooth. Unlike those female anchors who are arbitrarily criticized for their appearance, Xia Yike never shows her face during live broadcasts, but this does not prevent her fans from affectionately calling her "Queen".

Although he is welcomed by many fans, privately, Xia Yike often feels that he is "in a state of very problematic mental health."

"It may be related to the characteristics of the job of anchors. Our anchors have a very unhealthy schedule. We don't see the sun all year round, we always stay indoors, and we are somewhat out of touch with society." She felt that these problems were piled together. , there will always be a collective outbreak at some point in time. On those days when a bad mood comes, the only thing she can do is try her best to protect herself until the feeling "passes away quietly."

"Anyone can accept it." Xia Yike said to me, "Those who can't accept it have already left this industry long ago."

Pressure is almost inevitable generated. According to psychologist Li Songwei, for anchors with a huge fan base, being scolded may not be a matter of character, appearance, or level - it is just a matter of probability.

Anchors and traffic owners are like commodities in circulation. "For example, there is a product with a favorable rating of 95, a neutral rating of 4, and a negative rating of 1. This is already a very good product. You will not think that this product cannot be purchased just because of the negative rating of 1. , because you also know that no matter how good you are, some people will give negative reviews. ”

Are these negative reviews directed at the object itself? "People of the older generation, after being criticized, will feel that the person being criticized is themselves, so they have to reflect on themselves. Their lives are highly dependent on people's evaluation." Li Songwei said, "But now the traffic owners are being criticized Calling them stupid, they will only think that this is part of normal work, which includes being consumed by some people. "People's malice is just one of the ways they are consumed, which is essentially the same as other ways of being consumed. No difference.

The reason is very simple. The anchors have been in this industry for a long time and have thought it through. But in actual situations, when anchors encounter rumors, they still have to learn to use various methods to digest them—retaliating with anger is digestion, silent acceptance is digestion, and avoiding and forgetting is digestion. Anchors who have experienced many battles have their own ways of coping in order to continue in this industry and do it for a long time.

There are also quite a few differences between the situation between anchors and host. They enter this industry for different reasons, pursue different goals, meet different people and things, and face different levels of pressure. Problems always exist, and there are usually two ways for them to seek self-consistency: one is to solve the problem, and the other is that although the problem is not completely solved, there is still something they want along the way.

For some streamers, the problem is solvable. For them, it's not that complicated. They play the game well, so they stream it. Questions about bad intentions, about the future, about hard work at work, these questions occasionally arise. They will be unhappy, but they can forget about it and move on.

Xia Yike introduced me to Mr. No (Nostalie) who also broadcasts live on Douyu. "He said that he likes playing games very much. He is more aggressive than me every day and can play games for more than ten hours." Xia Yike told me, "He is known as the 'hard-core gamer'... but he really likes this game." He just did it, and he doesn’t think it’s a burden.”

“It’s actually quite tiring.” Mr. No said to me, “People must be tired, and sometimes their hearts are a little tired.

"

His sources of pressure are similar to those of most anchors: number of people, flow, content, effective time, various barrages... Xia Yike told me that No always plays "Heroes of the Storm" "Heroes of the Storm" almost achieved the status of "Brother of the Storm", but later Blizzard did not pay attention to this project and canceled the competition, and "Heroes of the Storm" also entered a trough period. "No always had to transform into an auto-chess and console game. anchor, but fans of "The Storm" will definitely scold him - he endured a lot of online violence during that time. ”

No always summed up the incident as “changed the live broadcast content” in an understatement. The sentence he repeatedly mentioned was: “Just get used to it.” He is more open-minded about online violence and daily psychological pressure: "If you want to do this, you have to endure it." Adjust your mentality yourself, otherwise you won't be able to do it. "

In his four or five years of live broadcasting career, he has almost never tired of games. "Playing games and live broadcasting at the same time is equivalent to turning what you like to do into a job. You can make money to support your family. In fact, it is still OK. "Before he started live broadcasting, he used to work in a company responsible for 3D modeling outsourcing business, which was not satisfying for him. "You can't play games when you are at work. This is a conflict. "

Also getting more happiness in the live broadcast is Chang Miao from Station B. He is only 20 years old, but he has been live broadcasting for 4 years and is very experienced. "I am quite humorous in live broadcasting. , basically the entire live broadcast room was laughing from morning to night. "He said to me cheerfully.

This state did not exist from the beginning. "When I was playing "League of Legends", I was still a troll. I would scold anyone who dared to scold me. But as the number of fans gradually increased, I didn’t want to bring negative energy to them. "Perhaps because of Changmiao's own age and style, the fans who come to watch his live broadcast are also relatively young, and Changmiao feels more responsible for them. Not only does he not respond because he is attacked, but it is his When there is internal strife among fans, he will sincerely apologize to both fans.

His effective broadcast time every month will exceed the guaranteed time signed with the platform. "Last year, I broadcast. 359 days. "With such a high intensity of live broadcasting, Changmiao felt that his life was a bit occupied by live broadcasting.

"I feel that I am out of touch with the entire world - not just a problem in the social circle. How long has subway mobile payment been available? It's been a long time, but I only found out about it in the first half of the year. "So, this year he also made appropriate adjustments and leaned a little more into his daily life.

For other anchors, the struggle is more complicated. For those obvious pressures, such as missing opportunities They may not be able to completely eliminate the unreasonable malice, caution when speaking, and the depression caused by work, but they have gained more and more important things in the live broadcast, and this has become the reason why they must continue.

For Xia Yike, being liked by many people is her most fundamental motivation for being a anchor.

She has been liked by many people, with a total of more than 4 million fans on various platforms. She has a great reputation and huge popularity in the circle, but she said, "People will become increasingly dissatisfied."

"Our anchor has a thing called 'Barrage Assistant', and it has become me. The biggest source of stress every day. When I was live broadcasting, I faced two monitors, one of which showed the number of people in the live broadcast room in real time. When your numbers keep dropping, the anxiety is indescribable. "Xia Yike said to me, "You will continue to work hard to show the effect of the show. You will scream in your heart: ‘Please don’t leave, I am still very interesting! '"

The solution is to become interesting and more interesting, which Xia Yike is already familiar with. "For most of us anchors, how to interact with the audience and how to tell interesting jokes? How to make this interesting has become our instinct. "

Xia Yike has many anchor friends, and sometimes they party together. She found that people at the party all have the same ability to make people laugh anytime and anywhere.

"I think people who do well in live broadcasting must have slowly trained themselves into interesting souls."

She said easily: "This is a professional skill, nothing difficult."

In Xia Yike's mind, Huang Xudong is the state she hopes she will have when she reaches a certain age. "He is a very open-minded person. He knows what to insist on and what not to care about."

Unlike those anchors who came in when the live broadcast industry was booming, Huang Xudong said early in the morning Just stay in this circle. He first became popular as a commentator for "StarCraft" events. After the rise of the live broadcast industry, he naturally became one of the earliest anchors.

"I do live broadcasts entirely to make money." Huang Xudong told me.

Now he has his own agency and has signed many anchors. He also knows that these anchors "may be very lonely and depressed" when they are broadcasting, but Huang Xudong does not have such troubles.

Maybe it’s because he is not broadcasting alone. He usually broadcasts with his partner Sun Yifeng, and the two have worked together for more than ten years. Live broadcasting together allowed him to find "the state of being with friends." He believed that this alleviated the boringness of daily work, and live broadcasting was even the happiest moment of his day.

Huang Xudong feels that the biggest problem he faces is that the "StarCraft" series is becoming more and more niche in China - it is not very popular, it is easy to encounter a bottleneck period, and the relevant players and anchors do not receive much revenue. He's not sure when "StarCraft", which he has been broadcasting for so long, will really become cool.

"I wake up every morning and feel that it is the end." He told me, "The end means that the big environment is gone. For example, Blizzard will no longer do the 'StarCraft' competition. Or there are no more players outside, and there is no way to make money from live broadcasts."

But Huang Xudong probably isn't really worried about "the end." He has already built an "industrial chain" with live broadcast. He has his own public account, his own forums, communities and offline activities - he knows how to maintain his audience. When most anchors are highly dependent on the platform for their income and platform sharing is their only source of income, Huang Xudong has built a decentralized and stable income structure. Direct income from being an anchor is one part, business cooperation is another part, and even Taobao B2C monetization is not left behind. "Even if the live broadcast is gone, or even the platform is gone, it is not fatal."

Although stress will not disappear on its own, people's ability to withstand stress will become stronger with age and experience. "When I was young, I cared about too many things. I argued with people every day until everything turned upside down. Every day was a big 'rhythm.' Now that I'm older, I just ignore it." Huang Xudong told me, "As long as you do Things that are worthy of one’s heart.”

Fire Wolf seeks self-realization on the live broadcast platform. He is a game media person with a background in traditional paper media. After the wave of layoffs in paper media a few years ago, he established an online media, writing articles and making videos. It lasted until June last year, when it failed. "To put it bluntly, life was miserable. The company collapsed and foreign debts were heavy."

Huya found him at that time and offered him very good conditions. "Based on my actual live broadcast popularity, this salary is completely special." Huo Lang said, "What they are interested in is not how much fame my live broadcast can bring to the platform, but more about my reputation in the media, or Talking about his influence as an 'opinion leader'"

He started live broadcasting on Huya in August last year. In the first six months, he was groping in confusion. Live broadcasting is "a bit too young" for him, and he has to learn from scratch from presentation to content operation, but he feels that he has now found a status as a media person on the live broadcast platform. Not long ago, I renewed my contract with Huya for another two years.

He positions himself as a "game media person who produces content on live broadcast platforms."

From print media to online media to live broadcast, his mentality has changed, but he does not think that he will compromise on the content in order to "please the audience", "it should be said to be a service", he continues to learn how to use the content that people are more interested in nowadays. Output in a customary form.

But the effect of "service" is not ideal. "The biggest worry right now is the lack of popularity." He said with some melancholy. "Sometimes I feel that I have performed well, but after the broadcast, I see that there are not many new fans."

Signed After joining the live broadcast platform, he has been working hard to adapt to his new life. He tries to find a balance between a large number of inputs and outputs. "At least four to five hours a day have to be put into live broadcasting, which will indeed have some impact on data collection and so on, so I no longer play games outside of live broadcasting."

He asked himself to " Keep up with trends at any time." After a year, I feel that I am in good shape: "The audience asked me to talk about this and that, and I can still pick up the conversation most of the time."

Although I was in the audience before. He experienced several failures during the transformation period and faced great financial and psychological pressure, but he still chose to believe in the potential of the live broadcast platform. "I want more people to know that live broadcasts can produce good content."

Xia Yike also wants to produce good content. As a creator, she cherishes feathers extremely much. She requires her works to be good and responsible to the audience.

She used to care about other people's evaluations. Later, she thought it was useless and she should stick to herself more. "I want to be the version of myself I like first, and then see if the version of myself I like will be liked by others.

She has extremely high requirements for herself. "Maybe it's a matter of my personal personality, Most of my stress comes from myself. Maybe the audience doesn’t think my live broadcast is not good today, but if I think my live broadcast is not good today, I will feel very uncomfortable... I will feel very uncomfortable the whole day. "She said, "I will ask myself to do better than yesterday every day...I can never be balanced and satisfied. ”

“If you didn’t do this, would you be better off than you are now?” "I asked.

"No, absolutely not. "She answered decisively.

Station B anchor OldBa1 didn't think so much. In his view, any kind of life has a price, and anchoring is just one of them.

Lao Bai works harder than most anchors. The live broadcast area of ??Station B has been doing activities recently. He is almost devoted to the live broadcast. Every time he replies to my message, he is late in the morning. Later, during the interview, Lao Bai said. I apologized and explained to me: "Because I just downloaded it at that time. ”

Lao Bai’s fans took the initiative to find us and introduced us to this “ordinary boy from a small city in Shandong”. Fans told me that Lao Bai first worked as a bank escort and later became an anchor. He He became famous during the live broadcast of "Identity V" and accumulated more than 600,000 fans in a short period of time. "At the end of last year, he ranked second among the anchors at Station B. "

Lao Bai believes that these achievements are the result of hard work. "I used to broadcast more during holidays or weekends. Sometimes I would broadcast for 12 hours a day, from 12 noon to 12 pm. I play while eating, and basically play all the time except when I go to the toilet. "

"12 hours? "I asked him, "Isn't that very hard work? ”

“Actually, not only did I work as a bank escort, I also worked on the assembly line where parts were produced. "Lao Bai said to me, "At that time, one station lasted 12 hours, and there was only one hour of meal break at noon. ”

“I worked it for two days and my feet were blistered. " He added, "If you say live streaming is tiring, in comparison, the work I did before was really tiring, hard, and earned very little. I feel like the live broadcast is not too tiring. ”

Fans of Lao Bai told me that because Lao Bai became famous so quickly and played the role of captain when the anchor formed a game group, he was immediately surrounded by negative information.

Although the black material itself is mostly nonsense, what is more egregious is that "his post bar has become a black material bar for anchors in this circle, and they are all skinny posts targeting anchors on various platforms."

Lao Bai did not mention these details at all in the interview. He generally covered them up with "cyber violence". "When I first encountered online violence, I couldn't sleep for more than half a month, but then I calmed down. I didn't care, I just slept."

"I originally If you don’t regard yourself as an anchor, it’s natural to chat with everyone. But at this time, a barrage will pop up, saying that I have low emotional intelligence, can’t speak, and don’t take care of others... We are all normal people, and suddenly a lot of people say you It’s not good, but you are obviously not like that, and you will definitely feel uncomfortable, but you have no way to defend yourself, so you can only slowly digest this pressure yourself.”

Lao Bai pushed himself very hard. The 12-hour live broadcast made him physically and mentally exhausted. "After the broadcast, I just want to lie in bed and do nothing." But he refused to relax at all, "I am already a full-time anchor, and I feel that there is no way out."

Among the anchors I came into contact with, the only one who was actually diagnosed with depression in the hospital and was taking medication was Xiao Ningzi, an Up anchor and anchor. She had been feeling depressed before, until one day three months ago, she made a video about the cartoon "Love, Death, Robot" and put it on the Internet, and it was placed in the recommended position by the platform - that The video received an unexpected amount of negative comments.

"Maybe it's because I posted it late, and the video is relatively simple about Amway - but that website has already paved the way for many in-depth articles about it." Xiao Ningzi analyzed, "It's also possible that users prefer to read articles and listen to radio stations, and don't like videos. In short, it's not suitable...but I just posted it casually."

That video was criticized for "taking advantage of the popularity" "Too superficial" and "messy" were so loud that even a certain "boss" in the station couldn't suppress her words.

She broke down and cried bitterly that day, asked for leave from the company, and went directly to the hospital.

After receiving treatment, Xiao Ningzi felt that her condition was much better than before. She learned to "reduce the burden" on herself. "I used to feel that I had to be responsible for others for everything I said and did, but after I got sick, the doctor told me that there is something wrong with the saying 'the greater the ability, the greater the responsibility'." She said, "I feel this now In short, we are all human beings. The greater the ability, the greater the ability. Maybe we can do more things, but the responsibility cannot be greater, otherwise we will be overwhelmed. ”

Because. With timely treatment, her condition is currently under control. An important lesson she learned from this disease is: "I just need to be myself and be responsible for myself." Now, Xiao Ningzi is trying to use her status as an anchor and Up host as a channel to express herself. "It actually helps My personal recovery”. She made 3 Vlogs about depression, hoping to help more people.

In Li Songwei's view, most anchors can eventually handle their emotions, which is actually a normal thing. "If you look at these from a particularly traditional perspective, you will feel that these people are actually bleeding inside, or are defensive, or are too numb to feel it." He told me, "But in fact, you really If you interact with them every day, you will find that this may not be the case."

Xia Yike once asked, "Why are people so malicious?" In fact, it is precisely because there is no reason for them. It's not directed at the anchor himself, but just an outlet for someone to vent their emotions - so there's no need to worry about it. Viciousness does not contain any rich connotations. Viciousness is pure viciousness. It is a "flattened" emotion in contemporary life.

"This kind of viciousness is the tax that anchors have to pay." Li Songwei said. He believes that if they understand this, anchors can often adjust their mentality.

In Li Songwei’s view, after viciousness has been “flattened”, the depression caused by viciousness has also been “flattened”.

"How can the traffic owners be unhappy? They are very happy." Li Songwei said, "Just like modern people often say that they are depressed or unhappy, this is the normal state of life - who is not? Right. Everyone Life is not easy, but sometimes we can express this emotion very movingly."

Li Songwei told me that a traffic owner he knew was once criticized for his remarks in an article. I was scolded so badly that it became a hot search topic. When he went to the company the next day, the employees were very low-pressure, but he didn't care at all. Instead, he asked the employees easily: "What are the benefits of being on the hot search for us?"

According to his observation, he The psychological preparation refers to the fact that these anchors will increasingly regard "I" as an object instead of "I" itself - this is a kind of "self-separation".

"How to create his own personality and how to interact with his fans, in fact, these things have slowly become professional and professional operations." Li Songwei said, "The so-called The 'I' in their minds may be an object to be manipulated professionally, and it has become a so-called personality."

This "personality" is not what people usually understand. , is playing a role that is different from oneself, but more like a "should be the state at work" - "self-separation" allows anchors to switch freely between the two states.

"For example, I'm very unhappy today, but I'm going to tell a joke later to make everyone laugh, then I'll tell a joke - okay, I'm done, I'll go back and cry. It's okay ." Li Songwei described it this way, "But when I am working, I have to be worthy of the people who give me money, and I want to be worthy of my customers. This is the so-called professional mentality."

"This. A bit...like alienation?" I said. The most straightforward explanation for the so-called "alienation" is that human beings have materialized themselves into production tools and become part of the capitalist system. While obeying the logic of capitalism can bring tangible benefits, on the other hand it also risks risk losing yourself.

"I don't think this is alienation." Li Songwei said, "People of the previous generation will always think it is alienation when they look at the next generation. But when you stand next to them to understand, they will not use alienation This word. You will feel that it is an evolution."

Perhaps every anchor is prepared for what he will face before he decides to turn on the camera. But even so, they still encounter those moments that make them feel down. Not everyone can complete the "evolution" that Li Songwei calls. Even for experienced anchors, it is still quite difficult to cut off a certain degree of self from the body and turn it into a product for others to evaluate or even vent, and ignore any ill will caused by that "self".

Life goes on. As night falls, people return home after a day's work, and the anchors' work begins at this time. From 7 or 8 pm to early morning, this is their prime time. The anchors sit at the table, turn on the computer, adjust the camera, and enter their live broadcast room. The number of people online increased little by little, and barrage flew past their eyes like snowflakes. They smiled and greeted the fans.

The night is still long for them.