2002. 10 Gao Yi
What remains the same?
It's memory.
When I opened the floodgate of memory, a boy who had died suddenly reappeared in my mind.
I witnessed his death. His family was with him at that time. His cry of pain at the top of his voice made all the onlookers turn around and cry for it. I looked at the face as miserable as a blank sheet of paper, and I just stood there silly and dull. The little boy stopped breathing in the busy rescue of the doctor and the crowd of onlookers. He no longer struggled painfully. His relatives rushed forward to hold him and pull him, but the boy did not move.
"Did he go to heaven?" I ask myself.
I repeated that sentence, silly wait for a while also don't know how to walk home from the hospital. When I got home, I plunged into the quilt, which was dark and my heart was in a mess. I grew up in a hospital, and I have seen many dead people, so the scene in where will you go has been experienced countless times, but this time it is different, as if all of a sudden, I have a new understanding of the word life. Before that, my understanding of life was vague. What is life?
It seems that I have been living blindly all this time. I spent my fairy-tale childhood under the care of my parents. Although there are many children in my family, my parents love me very much. Their care makes me ignorant of human suffering and makes me only know how to enjoy the care of my elders. When I was a teenager, I didn't know what pain was except the troubles of studying. I never thought about how to do something for my future life, and I didn't know that the meaning of life was so colorful and magical. I don't understand that a person in this world not only lives for himself, but also exists because of his loved ones.
Somehow, I felt my face wet, and I shed tears, tears of regret? Is it a guilty cry? I think I regret wasting my life before; Regret for not cherishing your precious life ...
In my long and short life, I still have a lot to do, to live well for myself, for my father and mother, all my loved ones; On the long road of life, there are many beautiful and moving stories waiting for me to interpret.
For the true meaning of life, I will wake up my sleeping self, and take my regretless pursuit to find the dawn of my life against the wind and snow!