2, don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang! Don't pretend with me, I'm behind the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China. If you don't believe me, bin Laden is my uncle. After bombing first, he was poisoned. If you refuse to accept it again, the registered policeman is my aunt. Change your account into a pig!
3. How much I fucking love you, and you fucking ignore it; I fucking discharged to you, and you fucking pretended not to see it; I'm fucking going to jump off a building, and you're fucking willing to turn back; You fucking changed your mind, and I fucking landed!
4. When the meteor falls in love with the earth, it will not hesitate to fall, just for that moment; When the clouds fall in love with running water, they will not hesitate to fall, just to solve their lovesickness; When I think of you, I don't hesitate to pay a dime to tell you in advance: Happy June 1st, little P-boy!
5. You are dragging a pig shopping, and you look very happy. I passed by and said sympathetically, "Look at a person's grade and see who he is with." Before I finished, I saw the pig abandon you with disdain.
6. On the first day, are you a pig? You answered no, and you were beaten-dishonest! The next day, I asked if you were a pig, and your answer was, beaten up-not modest! On the third day, I asked if you were a pig, but you didn't say a word and were beaten wildly-even if you were a pig, you were still dragging! ! !
7. At the end of the month, if there are still words that can't be paid, please read this tongue twister after me: level 1 difficulty: making nonsense and waving phone bills. Level 2 difficulty: the phone bill will evaporate. Level 3 difficulty: play nonsense and volatilize the phone bill!
8. College students = eating+sleeping+falling in love with pigs = eating+sleeping, so college students = pigs+falling in love with more college students-falling in love = pigs, that is, college students don't fall in love with pigs.
9, affectionate days, affectionate places, affectionate I am waiting for you. I miss you with a lonely pillow: I love you+miss you+hope you+miss you+wait for you = I can't live without you, and I love you-Xizhilang cici Jelly!
10, God, bless me, bless those who forget me, don't contact me, don't call me, don't send me a text message, don't miss me, don't miss me, and their mobile phones fall into the toilet. Amen! By the way, let the water flush!
1 1, it rains in every city, just like I miss you wherever I go. Missing is a kind of fruit, sweet and sour, full of memories at night, thinking of you with uncertainty and wanting to crush you to death ~ ~ ~
12, what happened? I called your mobile phone just now, and after the bell rang, the prompt said: The user is eating grass, please don't disturb! I can't believe it. Call again and say: The subscriber you dialed has been sent to the slaughterhouse. Please share it later! Are you okay? !
13, days without you/days without you/upset/life without you/it's really hard/when can I really have you/my dearest. . . . . . Don't be beautiful, not you, but money!
14, if your ears itch, it proves that someone misses you; If your eyes itch, it proves that someone wants to see you; If your lips itch, it proves that someone wants to kiss you; If your body itches. . . . Don't be ridiculous, it's time for a bath! ! !
15. I saw you the other day. You were sitting in the sun, so uncomfortable. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: "Keep your voice down, and no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned!" "
16, the legend of Cupid: one arrow through the heart represents love at first sight, two arrows through the heart represent wishful thinking, and three arrows represent three lucky lives. . . I'm shooting arrows at you. . . Small kind, you just wait to become a hedgehog!
17, the reverse is like a silk sister mulberry mouth material connected with silver in the nest, and the nest is like a silk sister mulberry mouth in the west for reverse silver, and the oil is loaded with Morimoto's nest wine in the reverse, and the Morimoto's nest in Zuomengmeng Island in Wotiantian is actually a short mulberry. Oh, buy and sue! Wofa defeats silver music!
18, do you know? I dreamed of you again last night. We snuggled up to each other by the river. You looked at me and I looked at you. Suddenly, you looked up and said three words to me affectionately: "woof, woof, woof!" "
19. I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky is so blue and the sea is so clear. Lovely you are swimming in the sea, and I poke your back with that twig on the shore: Hey, this little bastard is quite hard!
20. I am an onion, standing in the wind and rain. Who dares dip me in the sauce? K, his ancestor, went through difficulties and crossed the north. I drank water behind the toilet, ran over my leg on the train track, and kissed the pig. What are you looking at? Kiss you!
2 1, one day you win the prize and travel by air for free. Sadness: The plane crashed. Hi: There are parachutes. Sadness: I can't open it. Hi: There are haystacks on the ground. Sadness: There is an iron fork on it. Hi: I didn't fall on the fork. Sadness: I didn't fall on the haystack either. . .
22, hey! I dreamed that you were swimming in the water last night. As soon as I looked worried, I shouted to you to come up quickly. I didn't expect you to ignore me and look up at me: Why are you yelling? Haven't you heard of dead mouse feels no cold?
23. Are you a dung ball that was once rolled by Xiao Shami's low-energy dog Wang Cai, a cockroach Xiaoqiang who was trampled by Wang Cai, who was adopted by Shaolin Temple's mentally retarded master, who is known as a pear flower crushing Haitang?
24. melatonin said that if you don't skip class today, you will skip professional classes. Hui Renbao said he fled and I fled. Dabao said that you escaped today? Haodi said that everyone fled is the real escape. Colgate said that our goal is that no one will attend classes!
25, Tianjin edition: "Mud intermediary four catch hemp?" "Saunders Darth Seven!" "Four yuan high or four for high?" "The staff is high!" "The staff is high enough!" "Bullpen hemp! I was seen by the wall! "
26. The three most popular words during the Iraq war: peace, war and found. Connect these three words and read them aloud for three times, and you will solve a historical unsolved case.
27. If autumn leaves, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world leaves, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you in tears. . . If I leave, . . . . . The feed is in the trough, don't starve yourself!
28. Not every flower can represent love, but roses did it. Not every tree can stand thirst, but poplars did it. Not every pig can receive text messages, but you did it!
29. I 10 can't stand it anymore. I miss you very much. I want to see you every day. You can give it to me yourself. I will never fail you 7 times. I will keep you by my side forever. I will never be half-hearted. I swear I will only raise you 1 pig!
30. being ignored? Being bullied? Nobody loves you? Never mind! Even if no one in this world loves you, cares about you and values you! My door is still open for you! Chengdu Mental Hospital gives you a five-star home!
3 1, I can't sleep when I miss you, I have a lot of thoughts when I love you, and I'm lonely in the days without you. I'd like to turn into a lovebird, cross the waters of Qian Shan, fly to your head and pull a pile of shit, yeah!
32, missing is like chocolate, bitter! Sweet! Dare not miss you! Afraid of missing you! I dare not say I miss you, but I am afraid I miss you more! In fact, I really, really miss you, miss you, and become a pig!
33. This may be the last few days that I sent you a text message. I'm hesitating to tell you that I'm going to Japan, and all the formalities have been completed. I won't forget you, really. Mine caught bird flu, so I went to infect it. . .
34. When the devil beats the glass in front of your window, the toad is getting into your bed, the poisonous snake is rippling over your head, the earthworm is shuttling on your toes, and the centipede has climbed into your nostrils. Don't be afraid! I'm riding a snail to save you! Drive! Drive!
35. Tang Priest and his disciples met a beautiful woman on the way to learn Buddhist scriptures. Bajie decided to marry her. Wukong suspected that it was a demon. Tang Priest said it didn't matter. Send a text message to test it. If she didn't return the message, she would marry Bajie!
36. Our fate began thousands of years ago. In the autumn of that year, we were playing in the maple forest where the leaves were like fire. You chased me. Finally, when you caught up with me, you kindly bit me. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.
37. I have always been an unknown knight in the Jianghu until one day I met the most mysterious you in the legend and even called your name. Since then, I have also had a famous name in the Jianghu: Zhi Zhu Xia!
38. To calculate the problem, 1 to 8, choose a number as A, add A to 3 and subtract 2 to get B, and multiply B by 9 to get C; Add c bits and ten bits to get D,D times 50 to get E,E MINUS 200 to get f, f implies your life, very clever!
I dreamed that you were singing last night! Your singing is very sweet, and your sentimental expression touched me. I almost swore to love you for 10 thousand years, but I didn't dare, because you were singing to a donkey: I will be you when I grow up!
40. Legend has it that wishing on a meteor is very clever. I wait for it every day. On that day, I finally saw a meteor. I closed my eyes and wished before it fell, hoping that you would become smarter from an idiot. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find that the meteor flew back the same way!
4 1, full moon night, the top of Huashan, isolated one person, like a fairy? Long hair fluttering, far-reaching eyes, holding an object, pointing to the sky! Slowly retract, slowly stretch, after three laps, look up and shout: "China Unicom, no signal!"
42. If I had a candy, I would give it to you because I want you to be happy. If I have two sweets, we will each have one, and I think we will be happy together; If I had three sweets, I would give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me!
43. The intermittent rain has aroused my infinite thoughts ~ ~ To put it bluntly, I miss you! When the weather is fine, I'll take you to that green meadow. But I made an agreement with you in advance: only eating grass and not arching the ground!
44. It's New Year's Day, and there's nothing to give you. Just change all the change in your pocket into steel and give it to you. If someone bullies you, just smash him with steel and let him know how powerful our rich people are. Don't forget to pick it up after smashing it. We have to live!