1. If I can't die in her heart, then let her die in my hands.
2. Don’t try to teach pigs to sing. Not only will there be no results, but they will also make the pigs unhappy!
3. Youth, you left without saying a word to me.
4. A toad jumps off a cliff, but you still pretend to be Batman.
5. Real people will not be boring, but pretending people must be boring.
6. The ringtone for the end of get out of class is more pleasant than the national anthem, and the ringtone for class is more depressing than anxiety.
7. The way the policeman confesses: I have been paying attention to you for a long time, please come with me!
8. Do you feel like you are jumping around when you are logging in on QQ?
9. Outside the Qingshan Tower, you and the mistress are about to jump off the building. I am shouting "Come on" from downstairs.
10. I am not your father. I can't give you the fairy tale you want.
11. You promised to take me to see the snow this winter, but you left me in this winter.
12. I look at Hawick Lau’s photos on Baidu every day, just because he looks so much like you.
13. Sometimes, it is better not to know something than to know it.
14. Your mother chased me ten streets, insisting that I looked like your father.
15. From elementary school to university, the only thing that remains unchanged is a heart that doesn’t want to study.
16. When you were born, were you thrown up three times and only caught twice?
17. After blacklisting You, my appetite has improved, my body has become stronger, and I am no longer careless.
18. Don’t show off to others. Don’t be afraid of retribution if you go too far.
19. A man has a little money in his pocket but not enough money below his waist.
20. When I got up in the morning, I thought I had grown taller overnight, but it turned out that my quilt was stuck horizontally.
21. Fish farming - I always forget to change the water once a week, so I have to change the fish once a week.
22. Every time I dismantle mosquito-repellent incense, it feels like defusing a bomb. What genius designed this?
23. There is no reason to risk your life, even if you are running in the wind and rain, you must make yourself smile!
24. For the sake of the next generation, I want to fall in love.
25. Being fond of the new and hating the old is not a disease, only those who constantly forgive are sick.
26. If my life were a TV series, then you would be an advertisement halfway through.
27. Why do jokes become cold after they pass through my mouth?
28. You have a good physique. You can tell at a glance that you will live until death.
29. God, please give me a quarrel that will last forever. Scold your lover who won’t run away!
30. When I can’t find the long and short sides of the quilt, I feel like I’m making Indian pancakes.
31. If there is anything sad, it must be because you don’t study and think too much.
32. The word love is too pale to describe my feelings. I tolerate you, I like you, I hate you so much!
33. Hey! Girl, don't keep looking at my man, otherwise, I'm afraid I won't be able to help but dig out your eyes. Although I don't like the smell of blood.
34. If I throw a bone to a dog, it will wag its tail at me. Who are you?
35. I have WiFi on me, come and chase me.
36. One day your name will appear in my household register.
37. Some things are only suitable for collection. You can talk about them, but you can’t think about them, but you can’t forget them.
38. I am fine now. At least I am sure that I am alone and I don’t have to think of anyone anymore.
39. If I happen to meet you, I will say hello lightly, then run home and play for half an hour.
40. Sometimes you shouldn’t challenge my patience because I am impatient.
41. Life advice: When I ignore you, you can try sending red envelopes.
42. Why do people always tell me not to give up treatment, as if there is still hope for me?
43. Please roll up into a ball and leave smoothly.
44. I drew a coffin with you and her lying inside. How kind I am to let you die together.
45. Let me tell you again from my personal experience that you must not touch your mobile phone when doing homework, otherwise it will be like eating Xuanmai!
46. Only if you have a flat chest can you wear a white shirt that looks elegant.
47. Wherever you fall, you always get up. I always fall there. I suspect there is a pit there.
48. When you are in good shape, you will be unrestrained, but when you gain weight, you will be restrained.
49. If one day you find that you are as smart as a dog, you will become an immortal.
50. When I think of what happened when I was a child, I feel really childish.
51. School is a good place for dating. Everyone is showing off in couple costumes.
52. If you force a smile, you will hurt yourself.
53. The beginning of school is a new beginning. I don’t want to disappoint anyone.
54. There is no need to argue about many things, just obey on the surface but resist secretly.
55. Sometimes, it is your own feelings that deceive yourself.
56. If you can’t pee in the pool, it means you are short; if you pee outside the pool, it means you are weak.
57. No matter how good the If You Are the One female guest is, she can only put out one man's lamp, but the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can put out the entire floor.
58. I have crossed mountains and seas, but I cannot get through the crowds of people in the cafeteria.
59. If you call me wife now, if you dare to betray me in the future, I will let you call me sister-in-law.
60. That day, after I took away the beggar’s bowl full of money, I cured his disability that he had suffered for many years.
61. You waste air when you are alive, waste land when you are dead, and waste RMB at home.
62. Edison went shopping with a couple and invented the light bulb after returning home.
63. A toad that does not want to eat swan meat is not a good toad, but a toad that eats swan meat is still a toad.
64. People who don’t have a partner will always be mercilessly hurt on the Chinese Valentine’s Day.
65. Break yesterday into pieces. Let the past be void, I am only a teenager, I cannot be so tired.
66. People rely on clothes, horses rely on saddles, and dogs run happily with bells.
67. Do you like me? If you don't like me, I'm trying to figure it out.
68. Don’t worry about my need for a sense of security. You think I am a specialized anti-virus software.
69. My computer has the same language as me. As soon as I touch it, it will freeze up. Makes me extremely excited.
70. Chairman Mao said: To fall in love without the purpose of marriage is to be a hooligan.
71. Everyone is more than one meter tall, so there is no comparison.
72. I don’t go to school anymore, and my first dream is to sell spicy chips in the United States!
73. You are my Youlemei. After one drink, have another drink.
74. I am me, fireworks of different colors, and he is him, a big spender of two yuan a bundle.
75. There was gold under the man’s knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn’t even find a piece of copper!
76. This year’s Qingming Festival and Easter fall on the same day, which is referred to as the Tomb Sweeping Day.
77. Sometimes I stay quiet to give you a chance to see my handsome face.
78. In fact, you are nothing, you are just a barking dog.
79. When will you discover my love and look forward to that love.
80. The farthest distance in the world is when there is something stuck in your teeth. Your tongue knows where it is, but your hands don’t know where it is.
81. Your mother must have been anxious, absent-minded, and so hasty when she gave birth to you.
82. The tragedy of life is that we grow old too quickly but become wise too late.
83. I’ve watched so many movies that I’m afraid I’ll explode even if I turn on the gas.
84. The three sentences that moved me the most: I will bring you delicious food, I will treat you to delicious food, and I will take you to eat delicious food!
85. In your mind right now, the sun rises in the east and rains in the west. The road is sunny but sunny.
86. You should find someone who can make you laugh, not someone like me who is handsome and makes you cry.
87. The biggest difference between doing something and not doing something is that the latter has the right to object to the former.
88. Give the past a glass of wine, and you will never look back if you love again.
89. We are all good students. We will not fall in love or elope. We will accompany you through the small speaker. My surname is Zeng in Class 1, Grade 2.
90. Do you dare to stand under a telephone pole on a rainy day? Be careful with thunder pS on you.
91. I am always trying to explain the story between us.
92. You eat my chicken and I eat your tofu.
93. Little Sunflower’s mother’s class has started. The child’s cough is not good and he is probably disabled.
94. It is better to play the piano to a cow than to a sheep, because he will not have the temper of a cow.
95. You can’t satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human!
96. If I do something wrong, please tell me. I won’t change it anyway, so don’t hold it in and get sick.
97. You are the wind and I am the sand. If we linger, we will become a sandstorm.
98. The most ridiculous reason for breaking up in the world: Sorry, I have appendicitis!
99. Rock, paper, scissors, if you lose, you are mine, if you win, you are still mine.
100. Some songs are deeply rooted in people’s hearts. Sometimes I don’t know whether I am listening to the song or listening to myself.
101. My youth is the words on the desk.
102. The world today is really too chaotic. If you don’t accept it, just do it. You are just poor and begging for food.
103. Three wishes in life: first, to be able to eat, second, to be able to sleep, and third, to be able to laugh.
104. Use your real name to tell lies in real life, but use a pseudonym to tell the truth online.
105. Celebrities are just like dried tofu, they are fried.
106. A person’s greatest bankruptcy is despair, and his greatest asset is hope.
108. A bitch will always be a bitch. Even if the economy is in crisis, you can’t afford it!
109. He said. I can't do laundry. Can't cook. Can't buy groceries. Can't take care of myself. No emotions. Only a nunnery suits me best.
110. Youth is not just a blind encounter, there may also be misses. 2020 super funny mood phrases
20xx latest super funny mood phrases
1. When my aunt comes, I have the urge to donate blood!
2. Losing weight is really not that easy. Every piece of meat has its own temperament.
3. It’s time to buy a ticket to heaven and have a good talk with Yue Lao.
4. I have a manly personality, and I am better than those women who pretend to be innocent.
5. I learned to drink because I wanted to drown my loneliness and sadness. Unexpectedly, they learned to swim.
6. I was watching the advertisement well, but suddenly a TV series popped up! Hate!
7. My mother told me: If your father bullies you, ask your grandfather to take him away.
8. A set of medicines and pancakes. I said pancakes and you asked for them.
9. The reason why I am very confident is because confidence is free.
10. Preventing men from smoking is equivalent to not allowing women to wear bras.
11. When I paid the mobile phone bill, I realized that my words were so valuable.
12. The furthest distance in the world,
13. It’s just fucking Monday to Friday.
14. A friend of mine said that second means cute.
15. When love comes to an end, even a fart can be the reason to break up.
16. The memories that one person thinks are unforgettable have long been forgotten by others.
17. I really don’t want to look down on you with my toes. But you forced me to do this.
18. In this world, sincerity is scarce, so we should be frugal.
19. I told my friend that I wanted to fart, and my friend said: Hold it back and burp.
20. After listening to English for a while, the only thing I can understand is the first few Chinese sentences.
21. I know that strong melons are not sweet, but I just don’t like eating melons. Super funny words, super funny jokes
1. When I don't want to care about you, it's useless for you to coax me. At this time, you have to send me a red envelope.
2. You are only twenty years old. It is normal that you have not met someone you like. As time goes by, you will find that you probably will never meet someone again.
3. Every night you stay up late will eventually be repaid with a morning when you can't get out of bed.
4. I had an 8-yuan breakfast at a roadside stall. The boss was very busy, so I put the money in the boss's basket, thinking that the boss might not see it. I took out the money again, and then the boss saw it.
5. Looking at wealth and poverty from the perspective of sleeping: I went to bed, I went back to my room to sleep, I went upstairs to sleep.
6. If a person is used to being crazy, he will look like a lunatic when he is serious. Super funny jokes.
7. I can treat you to meals worth thousands of dollars and drink wine worth tens of thousands of dollars with you, but you have to pay me back the 100 yuan you owe me.
8. What should I do if my girlfriend is angry and unreasonable? Take a cup and throw it to the ground to see if it can calm her down. If it does, it's over. If you can't control yourself, just kneel down on the glass shards and you're done.
9． I have no future, I just want to spend your money, sleep in your bed, and be your wife.
10. If you like it, go for it. It doesn't matter whether they have a boyfriend or not. The team has a goalkeeper, so the ball will still go in.
11. In fact, I used to have eight-pack abs, but when I was practicing the ninth-pack, I went crazy and became one.
12. I had a health care session with my clients at night, and I smelled of some women's perfume. I was afraid that my wife would be angry when I went home, so I stayed at the hot pot restaurant downstairs in the community for a long time before going home. Unexpectedly, she acted angrier than ever before. She said angrily: You are going too far. You didn't even call me to eat hot pot!
13. I found that boys are really dirty because I have never seen boys take a shower.
14. If you want to be beautiful, sleep more. If you are sleepy, you will feel beautiful.
15. Someone just said I was shameless, and I slapped him back. Would I not want such a beautiful face?
16. After being married for many years and sleeping until midnight, my husband suddenly turned around and hugged his wife tightly in the middle of the night and said: This life is too short. The wife was moved to tears when she heard what her husband said. The husband then said: I can’t even cover my feet.
17. Buy a globe. The world is so big. You can not only look at it, but you can also move around it.
18. I have always been very tolerant of people who are not smart.
19. Little girl, you are still young and can find a partner again. How about you give your partner to your aunt?
20． Gradually, I understood a truth: the more ordinary-looking girls are, the more affable they are. And those beautiful girls, they ignored me at all.
21. I envy those little public servants who are so pampered, but it just so happens that I was born as a devil with a knife.
22. Kong Rong said: Uncle, I am a child, I will eat the smaller pear! Uncle said: You stay away from my fruit stall.
23. There are no bad words in this world. It only happens when you do too much homework.
24. I like you, but if you eat shit, I think you are awesome; if I don’t like you, even if you eat shit, I think you are awesome; anyway, as long as you eat shit, I think you are awesome.
More super funny comments
Super funny space comments: People’s stomach is called stomach, and my stomach is called stomach plus
Super funny QQ Talk: If being handsome can make a living, then I can feed the whole world 2020 Super Funny Classic Quotes
I have no ability to pick up girls, but it’s a pity that I am just a girl. . .
The whole family was watching Animal World together. My brother suddenly pointed at a pig on the TV and said to me: "Hey! Isn't this you!" I yelled out of habit: "It's your sister!" I regret it!
Some people are simply four. Except for two, it is still two. Subtracting two is still two. It is really two plus two. If you remove a two, you still have a two, and it is twice as much as two.
What is persistence? Just one day, another day, you tell yourself, just hold on for one more day.
. Why is there a moon on Bao Qingtian’s forehead? Bao Zheng: During the day, I don’t understand my evil deeds.
Nothing is reliable these days except myself. Abbreviation: Holy shit!
People who have always been dissatisfied with their hairstyle have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a problem with their face. . .
I always feel that if the bed is laid out too neatly, it will make you spend your old age peacefully. Well, it's still messy and more energetic
"Is my face oily?" "It reflects light, so I can't see clearly."
Uplink: Phone bills, road bills, broadband bills to be paid ; Second line: Meal card, water card, bus card, card card, etc. recharge. Horizontal comment: Start of school and make money.
Never quarrel with your parents, because you will only get scolded when you can't win, and beaten when you win.
Suddenly I feel that "Pleasant Goat" is very similar to "Journey to the West", both are caught in every episode, and then they will definitely not be eaten
Standard for otaku and otaku: in Use the computer as the center of the circle on the bed, and use the arm length as the radius to pick up items...
Many years later, if you are married, if I am not married. Tell your daughter to be careful on the way home from school. . . .
Some girls are like housing prices. Only when you look back can you realize that you were wrong in not taking action in the first place.
I was forced to go on a blind date. The other person was an English major. When I first arrived, he told me that he had English level 8, Japanese level 1, and German level 2. What level did he ask me? I told him QQ is level 30, yellow diamond is level 7, red diamond is level 4, fancy color diamond is level 4, and green diamond is level 3. The other party walks away, and blind date is also one of the joys of life. . .
A: "I have a secret crush on a girl." B: "A secret crush is good!" A: "What a good way." B: "A secret crush is the cheapest of all relationships."
Do you know why February 14th is Valentine’s Day? I hope that two lovers will get along sweetly, a baby will be happy, and the four elders will be healthy and live a long life. No third party is allowed to interfere.
Today, classmate A borrowed money from classmate B. . . A: Do you have money? B: Yes. A: Lend me some. B: What did you just say? A: Lend me some. B: No, the previous sentence. A: Do you have money? B: No! ! ! "TMD"
The mother taught her daughter: "Choosing a husband is a lifelong event, so you need to be careful. Look at your dad, he can fix everything. He fixes cars, appliances, faucets, and even broken wardrobes. Now, he can fix it himself..." My daughter interrupted: "I understand.
"I understand, sister, if you find a husband like your father, you will never be able to use anything new in your life!" "
It is said that after playing Weibo for a long time, the words will become like this: "Dear, are you cheating on me?" "Your sister!" "Dear, the fujoshi is not good enough!" "Cat. Damn it, fuck it!" "Dear, you are so patient" "Hundan, you liar!" "Dear, Lao Shi is so horny" "I'll strangle you!" "Dear, what's wrong with you? "A nerd and a nerd can't afford to be hurt..." "Dear, you know!" "I'm so envious and jealous." "Dear, it makes me laugh!"
A: How much is your annual salary? B: 800 Ten thousand. A: That’s 800,000 a month. B: Yes, that’s the basic salary. A: Not bad. What do you do?
Valentine’s Day is coming. Note: Silly ones give flowers and plants; frivolous ones lead them around; tacky ones drink and eat to their heart’s content; boring ones dance; bold ones hug; crazily put them down on the spot; timid ones send a message to say hello; If you don’t, just stay home and think about it!
The world laughs at me for being so crazy.
What is a famous brand? If you add two zeros after the cost price, it is called a luxury product. If you add as many zeros as you want after the cost price, it is called a cultural relic! I passed you by and didn’t say hello, it’s not because I’m being arrogant or showing off. . . . ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? : Handsome, rich, generous, temperamental, well-educated, no flirting, no drinking, no smoking, no cheating, no existence...
It is said that the tears you shed are from your mind. The most shameless person I have ever seen is Mr. Qiu. Even though I told him I didn’t like him, he still pestered me to do it.
Falling in love without the purpose of getting married is all about supporting someone else's wife. . .
There is a kind of crash called entering an incorrect password... There is a kind of panic called remote login... There is a kind of emotion called "remote login". Invisibility makes it visible... There is a misunderstanding called offline... There is a kind of loss called you don't have access rights
I can endure hardships very much. I thought about these five words and I only did the previous one. Four...
Baidu’s is called Du Niang, NetEase’s is called Yi Niang, and there is still debate within Sina about whether you are called Penguin’s Niang or Douban! Whether you are a bridesmaid or a fake bride from Huawei, you must remember that Taobao is your real mother!
I once swore that I would cut off my hand if I shopped online again, but now I realize that I am a thousand-handed person (signed) Guanyin!
If you think eating is everything in my life, you are wrong!
I also said: House prices are so expensive now. If I had a piece of land, I would be really prosperous! He said: If you have a piece of land, I will recognize you as my godfather immediately! Just after I finished speaking, the little girl at the front desk called me: XX~ You have express delivery! . . . My godson didn't want to talk to me the whole afternoon.
Withered vines, old trees, fainting crows; school, refused to let go, went home; surprise, naked test, failed; simply, talking in sleep. The sunset, setting in the west, failed the exam, at the end of the world. . .