Letter to the father of the child.
Father of the child:
It's been more than a year since I got my marriage certificate. Think about it. When I first lived in your house, I often hid and cried alone at night because I didn't adapt. So what did you do? Did you comfort me? Do you care about me? You will only think that I am too considerate of myself and say that I have caused you pressure. Since I got married, I dare not say how bitter my life is, but I have never felt how happy I am ~ ~ ~
Now that I'm seven months pregnant, do you think I should just eat well and sleep well? Every day when I get home from work, I just eat something, take a bath and then go to bed early. That's all. You don't want to see me for a while and you don't want me to spend more time with you. You would rather sleep in the shop than come up with me at night. It makes me feel so empty. You don't understand, spiritual communication is more important than your material needs. When there are few people, you never sit next to me and talk to me, nor will you. Because I can't do without business, whether it's my birthday, wedding anniversary or other festivals, you don't have time to go out with me, let alone have a checkup. Every time I go with a big belly, I don't beg you. I just want you to chat with me after work and let me feel your concern for me. That's enough.
But later, I found it more and more difficult to get along with you. Make a little mistake in your eyes, and it will become a major murder and arson. You will always be there to blame each other without mercy. Being hit by you again and again, I am more and more afraid of doing things around you. I am afraid that I will be scolded by you for doing something wrong. Even now, I have to look at your face. Just like yesterday, you said that the store overspent 4,000 yuan, and I said, yes. Just saying? Okay, okay, then you got angry and yelled at me, saying that I always said that your second store couldn't make money, so you didn't have to open it. God, for no reason, you misunderstood me and yelled at me before I finished. Do you take me as your wife? Do I still have a copy of this family? Since you got married, you haven't discussed anything with me in advance, let alone asked my opinion. Now I don't even have the right to speak in the shop? This may also be the reason why you always want me to go to work and don't want me to intervene in anything, because many times I disagree with you, and you think I am stubborn and unruly. If I am stubborn, I will accept other people's opinions. What about you? You are too stubborn to listen to anything. You think you are right and others are wrong. No matter what you do, you won't admit your mistake, you will only make excuses for yourself. In your family, there is no democracy, only your arbitrariness. Even your parents are afraid of you and dare not say anything in front of you. They will only criticize your dissatisfaction in front of me. What does this mean? On the contrary, in my family, my father will ask my mother or my opinion about many things. Everything is discussed and measured by the whole family, and what I say carries a lot of weight. In your house, I dare not say the wrong thing, not to mention that I am afraid that your mother is afraid of you now, so I will express any opinions. This kind of life makes me feel depressed and have no autonomy, just like living in a relative's house and living on the face of others.
What hurt me the most yesterday was saying something more hurtful in front of your father. Would rather sit outside than sit with me at night, because there is nothing to talk about with me? Well, that's it. I still stay in the shop so late every day because I want to have a good talk with you. I am still so stupid. I thought you were too busy and tired before, but I realized yesterday that you couldn't communicate with me because there was nothing to talk about. Now that I have been married for more than a year, I have reached the point where I have nothing to say. Is it necessary to live like this? And because of this sentence, I cried for a whole hour. During my pregnancy, I was scolded by you for a little thing, and you scolded me for more than five times. Every time we quarrel, you add fuel to the fire and call names, which makes me cry. Have you considered the effect on my baby? As a prospective father, what have you done for your baby?
The child's mother
Letter to the father of the child Part II
Another meaningless quarrel. I can't remember how many times it has been since Xiao Xin was born, and I don't know how many times it will be in the future. I just know that every quarrel will leave a mark.
Except for the month when she was born, Xiao Xin's appetite has been very small, and it has been repeated, sometimes good and sometimes bad. In the first eight months, the weight remained at an average level, until about nine months ago, when I fell ill and my weight plummeted.
At that time, Xiao Xin was almost skinny. One day, after giving him a bath, a person put him in his room to sleep and watched him. Tears can't help but gush down. Xiao Xin, who was still playing at first, suddenly calmed down and looked at me blankly. Her smiling mother suddenly changed a strange expression, which the little head should not understand.
As soon as he recovered from his illness, he seemed to have made up for what he hadn't eaten for so many days and ate like never before. When you are happy, you can't help worrying that such a good appetite won't last long. Sure enough, a week later, I saw that the bottle began to resist again; After two weeks, feeding has become a game you must play before you can barely finish eating. Three weeks have passed. Beating gongs and drums? The type of feeding method has also become invalid, shaking your head when you see a spoon. Although the weight has caught up with the average, Xiao Xin's food intake has completely recovered to the past.
At this time, after a long period of dormancy, our contradictions began to stir again.
You are anxious like an ant on hot bricks, and your anxiety is beyond words. You ask me, what should I do? If I take him out, everyone says he is young. What if he doesn't grow up?
I said, he is not young, his height has been above average, but his weight is slightly lower.
What do you say if one day his height is below average?
I said, I don't want to worry about the future in advance
There must be many things to worry about in the future, such as what to do if he doesn't talk for a long time, what to do if he is timid, what to do if he is cowardly, what to do if he doesn't get along with others in kindergarten, and what to do if he doesn't study well.
At first, he had a small amount of milk. I tried to change the bottle, nipple and even milk powder, but it didn't help. And then for a while, it's okay without rhyme or reason Four months later, I began to add rice noodles to him. You heard that the children next door eat lotus seed paste, and they are fat for nothing. You must say that you will give it to Xiao Xin, too. I didn't agree. Now that I think about it, I was too persistent at the beginning, so it doesn't hurt to try. I just believe that that child must not be fat just by eating lotus seed paste. Lotus seed paste actually has no nutrition, it is nothing more than filling the stomach. If the milk powder is not enough, you can of course add it. If the amount of milk can't reach, if you go to eat non-staple food, isn't it more appetizing to drink milk? Six months later, I began to feed rice noodles, egg yolks and noodles with spoons. Xiao Xin still hasn't become the king of diet, and she hasn't been urged to grow up by these things. Until today, the problem of children's eating has always been a headache for everyone. Even though I made all kinds of tricks, detailed recipes and timetables, and many toys to play with, he still went his own way. Little stomach king? Personality.
After reading so many books, American, Japanese and China, consulting so many parenting websites and forums, and participating in the training of parent-child early education, I feel more and more relieved. Every child's appetite is naturally different. Children with good appetites scramble to eat and beg for food, and lose their temper if they don't eat, as if they will never get enough to eat. And some children are born with a small appetite, forcing him to eat is easy to cause anorexia. Excluding physical factors (no lack of elements, no disease), as long as he develops normally in all aspects and is in good mental state, he need not worry too much. Eating is human nature, and he will eat when he is hungry. Moreover, it is very important to have a pleasant meal and protect children's desires.
Originally, I insisted that he should not play while eating, nor should he watch TV while eating. Since you think he can eat more, and I really have no better way, then I won't force it. When the weather is warm, I want to try the massage for children found online to see if it can improve his appetite.
However, you still think that I didn't actively try to make him eat more. You said I was not responsible for him or his future. Honey, have you gone too far? I ask myself, as a mother, I am conscientious, and I love our son deeply. But worrying all day is not a sign of love. Many times, relax and don't worry so much. You will find that your son is still growing up healthy and lively. What we need is timely and appropriate watering and fertilization. If we water it too much, he can't absorb it, which is tantamount to pulling out the seedlings.
Finally, I want to say that children's diet and routine at grandma's house can't be exactly the same. Although we are coordinating and trying to make them similar and let the children adapt, the two adults will still have their own thoughts and lifestyles. They are not machines that help us take care of our children. They are not simple. We say they were executed. Just like your mother, she made it clear that she felt that we were inexperienced. When she was in charge, she had to listen to her opinions on some things. Although I don't agree with this, I can only accept it. In my father's family, he will respect my opinion, and my son's affairs will be decided by me, but it doesn't mean that he will listen to me and do whatever he wants without his own opinions. After all, he is also a senior intellectual, and he has always been a respected and good leader before he retired.
The child is not a person's, nor a family's. Many people must have different opinions. It is naturally best for children to be supervised by a special person in the same environment, but it is unrealistic at present. Living in parents' home for a long time, parents have no problem, but your parents are unwilling to give up the new opportunities and rights to take care of them. After all, it is their grandson. Living in my grandparents' house for a long time is too much for my health. If that's the case, only everyone keeps running in, instead of always saying, why do you do well at grandma's house and not at grandpa's house? I am calm (definitely not angry). Although I don't think parents have any big problems with tape management, if you and your parents really can't reach an agreement and feel uneasy, you can unilaterally adopt tape management.
Well, I talked a lot and didn't have a good class all day. I just feel stuck in my heart and have a lot to say. You say I can't communicate, so I can only communicate like this. I hope you can see it soon.
I know you must have a lot to say, so you might as well sit down and write carefully. Maybe face to face, we are all too impulsive.
A letter to the father of the child
Dear:
It's time to miss you again, but I made an exception and didn't send you a message Tonight, I want to write to express my love for you!
One or two days before you leave me, I will say I miss you, miss you, miss you very much! If you have been gone for a long time, I won't say anything. Maybe you think I'm used to it, but it's not. I stubbornly believe that if we are together, I will love you more, and if we are not together, you will love me more! I deliberately didn't call or send you a message, just to see if you would miss me and how much you would miss me! When you miss me, you will naturally call and send me a message! However, countless such nights, I still can't help but miss you! Miss you! Miss you so much! I often can't sleep at this moment. I often reach out to touch you when I am half asleep and half awake. I often think of it at this moment, or recall the past over and over again. Recall how many times we have eaten together, where we have been, which rooms we have lived in and which beds we have slept in. I miss our days in Longgang, Shenzhen, when you rode your bike to and from Nanlian and Ailian. At that time, you only had to look at me and I knew what you wanted to do! Those rainy days! Those happy and happy days that can't be described in words!
Honey, I really want to go back to those days, but I know your dream. You want to make great achievements while you are young. You want to make great achievements to prove your life value. You must leave me and expand your business elsewhere. Moreover, now we are no longer carefree young people. We have children and parents. We should strive to make a career while we are young and give parents and children a better living environment. Therefore, this kind of investment and entrepreneurship only allows success, not failure! Be sure to stick to it!
Dear, I believe you will succeed! Come on!